Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for September 25, 2022

Teetotalers make difficult neighbors

Now Devin, you know that motors aren’t allowed in the Ballard Street sidewalk sail boat regatta.

Then it’s time for a broadside. Load me up with the beans.

Thank heavens for the Ropes & Pulley Club. They have been rigging the Sailors Social Society boats for years…

That explains all of the ruts people are seeing in their driveways. They’ll let him moor, but he’s forbidden from dropping anchor from now on.

Can’t make Port? Make Claret instead, Devin

He may have to make a nonstop trip all the way around the block.

Devin, you know the world ain’t round. Drops of sharp at the edge of town. Devin you know the world must be flat, ‘cause when people leave Ballard they never come back (RIP Hal Ketchum)

“Just hurry home dear, the schooner the better”.

“Then I’ll impress them.”

“With what, dear? You knot-making ability?”

“No, no, impressment, impressment!”

“Meant what?”

“I don’t know.”

THIRD BASE!

Devin: Then I will abandon my voyage…..dang it!

Not to worry, if it ain’t port.. starboard will have to do. Better bars on that side anyway.

Why, he’ll just sail off into the sunset.

A sweet ride! There’s an episode of GUNSMOKE where a retired sailor has sails rigged to a wagon, and he’s traveling across the prairie. An interesting idea.

TWO anchors? On the same side? He’s not going anywhere.

Then he’ll sail around and around the neighborhood as the Flying Ballardman.