Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for November 26, 2021

Ted simply isn’t as aerodynamic as he like to think he is.

Geez, Ted, that’s not good. Even Sparky looks surprised.

Sparky says, “Popcorn!!!”

Sparky’s shocked at the “view”.

Ted should think about losing a few pounds. That once was a really sturdy table. Oak, I believe.

As my peripheral neuropathy develops, I find the forward face plant is my greatest risk. Makes it hard to harvest stuff in the garden.

“Ted! … Ted! … It’s around. … It’s not over. It’s not under. It’s not through.

It’s around! Go around the coffee table."

Grampa’s Spells. Where’s Jelly Roll Morton when you need him?

Failed to make orbit.

Blackout — getting up too quick.

My trajectory is often affected by dog toys on the floor. Or grandkids underfoot…

Ted’s mother always said “tie your shoes properly”.. and Ted never did

The irony is, he was going for more “Rocket Fuel”…

Who put this table here???

I come close to this a lot if I get up too fast. Head rush.

I like it

If he’d had more room for a take off, I’d have suggested he lowered his flaps to give himself more lift. In a tight space, holding the table as you stand up and make sure you legs haven’t fallen asleep works, too.

This was almost me a few weeks ago. The friend’s couch was too low for me to get out of by myself and I had to be levered out with a helper tugging on each arm!

What we’ve got here is… failure to elevate. Some men you just can’t lift.

Ted fell. The end.