Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for October 31, 2020

That makes mowing complicated.

“Bixby has bug on brain” headline in today’s Ballard Bugle and Puppy Piddle Paper.

Wait until the ants come marching in.

With the sudden high price of lumber, there is quite a lot of value just lying out in the open!!

Between you and me, Bixby, termites are gonna love your little paths unless you treat that with some godawful poison, palatable to neither man nor bug. Sorry, but those are your options.

Fortunately, Mrs Bixby did very well on the balance beam in high school gymnastics. Mr. Bixby, on the other hand, trips over his own feet often (but he blames it on the bugs).

Lots of sitting space for the next BBQ, but it might be quite a stretch.

Everybody seems to think the Bixbys are walking a few inches above the bugs because they’re afraid of them, or perhaps disgusted by them.

But I’m kinda questioning whether that’s actually the case.

 

If they were afraid, or truly disgusted… wouldn’t they have laid their pathways on something higher than a single concrete block?

Some bugs can jump 8 inches.

(ewww…. )

 

Well… back in his Hill Street Elementary School days, Boris Bixby collected bugs…

Unfortunately he didn’t know how to take care of them, so they mostly died….

but he liked looking at them while he had them.

 

I remember when, in 4th grade, he got in trouble for bringing his pet tarantula to school…

and threatening to put it down Babs McDonagle’s blouse.

Babs grew up to marry him anyway…

but as some sixty years later, as Babs Bixby, she still isn’t used to his “pets.”

 

However, I hear that she’s recently been reading about Jainism.

She’s definitely one of those fad type people…

one month an amateur pole dancer, the next a pseudo Jain.

 

So I’m thinking…

Maybe these paths are only meant to protect the bugs…

to keep them from being trodden, or mowed.

Boris is still clueless about bug care…

but maybe they’re trying to do their bit.

Even though they failed early on the course, the Bixbys did go on to be the oldest contestants to ever be on American Ninja Warrior.

I just started speculating…

…

..

.

…on how many bugs I’ve crushed walking in the lawn.

Grass is lava!

Providing easy access for the bugs (an interstate as it were) to get from one area to another must be appreciated by the bugs.

Do the Bixbys realize bugs can climb?

R.I.P., Sean Connery, dead at age 90.