Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for November 30, 2019
November 29, 2019
December 01, 2019
Transcript:
second catalog alert obscenities winter 2002 obscenities - sinfully self-indulgent foods & material goods that joyously deplete the earth's precious resources. artisanal cheeses produced by child slave labor, rhinoceros horn toothpicks, endangered songbirds in a heavy cream sauce! yum-yum! all proceeds go to support illegit-imate & oppressive dictatorships. fred 'n' ethel's fred 'n' ethel's - ironically dowdy clothing for tiresome, aging baby boomers who cling to retro kitsch. drab, weirdly triangular dresses for her & armpit-high pants for him. be-come your parents in the worst way. nabob & satrap perpwalk power looks winter 2002 nabob & saktrap - this year's catalog of executive fashion & accessories reflects the ceo's diminished status: designer eyewear that folds into a shiv, a mont blanc jailhouse tattoo fountain pen & monogrammed cufflinks that complement any orange jumpsuit. haarfenspongg winter '02 haarfenspongg - offers incoherent-ly styled hand-knit woolens from scandinavia. the one pictured may also be used as a front-loading baby carrier, a computer monitor cozy & a car bra.
well-i-never over 4 years ago
But threading the belt through the loops is so much tougher with chest-high pants. Try it.
katzenbooks45 over 4 years ago
How prescient! That looks like Rudy Giuliani on the cover of N&S!
DCBakerEsq over 4 years ago
I once had a car bra, but it ruined the paint. And, it wasn’t very sexy.
WCraft Premium Member over 4 years ago
You had me at “endangered song birds in a heavy cream sauce!”
PoodleGroomer over 4 years ago
Nabob & Satrap has a tattoo by numbers kit for beginning artists.
ChessPirate over 4 years ago
Fred’n’Ethel’s is just down the street from Lucy’n’Ricky’s…
WaltWenger Premium Member over 4 years ago
Now, just wait a G-D Minnit! I’m a tiresome, aging Baby Boomer, and I never wore pants like that. That’s what my grandfather wore, for Pete’s sake! Don’t blame that look on ME!
Sisyphos over 4 years ago
NOOO! I can’t stand it! I capitulate!
I’ll buy at least one ridiculous item from each of these catalogues!
—Just, please, send no more!