Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for June 24, 2019

Gosh, I hope he’s not a proctologist.

…because your insurance only pays if I fix it in 3-5 days. :)

Back in George Washington’s time they called themselves ‘heroic doctors.’ They treated his ailments with aggressive bleeding. They bleed old George to death, thus creating the tradition American health care has followed ever since…

My orthopedic doctor was non-aggressive with my knee. He kept it patched up for about a dozen years. We both agreed at the end of that time that made sense to throw away the old one and get a new one. I walked a 5K four months later and last year I did three days on the Appalachian Trail I’d say that the operation was a success.

Now turn your head and cough………IF YOU STILL CAN!

prostate exams can be rough…

First, let me share my steroids with you.

’Roid rage sux

Dr. Schwarzenegger: You’ll be back!

There’s a little pill for every ache and pain. The pharmaceutical companies are the biggest drug pushers in America! Next are the docs who hand out their “samples” and an RX to go with it. BAH HUMBUG!

Candy bar candy bar wooooaaaaaa candy bar!

We are mortal. At their best medical professionals can extend the time we have to death or the ease with which we make our progress to that end. Just as we do with our attention or lack thereof to our own health.

My mother would have insisted that he treat it assertively because “aggressively” isn’t polite

The rules of practicing good medicine:

1. If it works, keep doing it.

2. If it doesn’t work, stop doing it.

3. If you don’t know what to do, don’t do anything.

4. Don’t send your patient to a surgeon.

Surgeons have similar rules except for #4. They substitute “internist” for “surgeon.”

Internists know everything and do nothing.

Surgeons know nothing and do everything.

Psychiatrists know nothing and do nothing.

Pathologists know everything and do everything, but too late.

And radiologists just sit around in the dark!