Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 22, 2019

Their official name is " tree rat "

These days, you would just search YouTube for squirrel poop. The next step is to prove that they PhotoShopped it.

Does a squirrel poop?……………….Does anyone really give a……….Oh, forget it.

Ok, Jeffrey. What are you really doing?

The squirrels are asking Danae: Who’s the nut taking up a tree space?

Ya, they do. They use my deck rail planters like cat boxes. I’ve retaliated by adding gravel mulch.

Well I try scaring the s**t out of them when they dig up my yard.

No doubt a $10K+ grant will be bestowed upon him so that he can document this very important information. :)

And when you’re done, everyone will say fake paper and you will say, I got a $10,000 grant and only spent $25.50.

It would seem they have their roles reversed today.

Gotta admit, I have never seen a squirrel pile in the yard or anywhere else. Though, I have never seen a dead mule either. Some things do need explaining.

And also, not if they’re Fox squirrels.

“SQUIRREL POOP DESCRIPTION: Oblong pellets, usually about 3/8 inch long and 1/8 inch in diameter, rounded tips and slightly bulging in the center. with some size variance. Fresh ones are dark brown, but they get lighter with age. Looks very similar to rat, only a little bit fatter, and a little more likely to grow lighter with time.”

http://www.wildlife-removal.com/squirrelpoop.html

The photo in the link look like brown rice that has gone bad.

Rabbit/squirrel poop looks similar – that is, if you see it at all while cutting the lawn or raking leaves. Mostly you just wear it on your shoe.

Jeffrey should set up some bird feeders near a deck or paved area. He would rapidly discover his hypothesis pooped on.

On a similar note, have you ever seen a baby pigeon?

Jeffrey is wrong—Squirrels DO Poop, They’re just VERY private critters and can’t perform in front of an audience

And I say cats don’t fart…I have never heard a cat fart or smelled a cat fart…..

A friend of mine referred to them as lawn rats with better press agents.

If the area around our “squirrel feeder” is any indication (we didn’t intend to put it out for the squirrels,) the answer is “Yes.”

Apparently, those aren’t nuts they’ve been squirreling away…

This is a really sh….y topic.

What would Bullwinkle J. Moose say to all these squirrel haters?

Pretty much the perfect picture of Danae in panel 3…

Where does Jeff think acorns come from?

Yes they do. You should have deen my truck.

This is a very popular comic strip. I like it very much and read it regularly. Except when Danae is featured. Thank goodness she lasts just one week. Will be back Monday. (BTW, I don’t really like the Nebbish feature on Sunday.) I’d be interested in other people’s opinions on Danae and Nebbish. Thanks.

I’m surprised no-one’s mentioned the igNobel prizes. Much more appropriate in this case.

Poop? Of course they poop!

Now that you mention it…hmmmmm.

Volunteer to clean squirrel cages at the local zoo. I am sure you will fine squirrel shirt!

A Nobel Prize for achieving new heights in stupidity!

Reading too quickly, I thought he said, “Squirrels don’t pop,” which would be taking this comic, and Jeffrey, in a whole new direction.

Rats with good PR.