Mike Luckovich for March 15, 2019

Dad writing a check to the university (or paying for a new building) is a perfectly legal LEGACY ADMISSION — Affirmative Action for rich white guys.

Dad writing a check to bribe someone to falsify an SAT test or Photoshop a stock photo with your kid’s face on a real athlete while bribing the coach to play along is illegal Affirmative Action for those who want Affirmative Action for rich white kids — at a discounted rated. Illegal on a technicality.

Time for a new college lesson:

Those who have submitted falsified applications now pending: REJECT

Those who have been accepted based on falsified applications and now attending? EXPEL

Those who were accepted on falsified applications and graduated: REVOKE DIPLOMAS

There are some claiming that the kids didn’t know. Give me a break. But, OK, if you really fall for that scam, then there is still an important lesson to learn: you get something you didn’t earn because of your parents? YOU LOSE EVERYTHING because of those same parents. Take it up with them.

Alfred’s got a lot more on the ball than Bonespurs and clan, so why not Yale?

Amazing to see what a touchstone Alfred E. Newman has become in our culture. Far beyond the confines of MAD Magazine.

Don’t worry, Alfred. No, no. What, me worry? Not on your life. Potrzebie!

And all the while there are kids wanting to learn but can’t get in. That’s the real crime.

NPR interviewed a bunch of kids yesterday about this. One said he was taking a course in SAT exams, and had to study a WHOLE HOUR – every night! He said he couldn’t wait to get to college, because high school was too hard.

Another one said he LOVED to learn – he watched YouTube videos and learned SO MUCH! Honest to Cat, that’s what he said.

Hey, it worked for the shrub…

This has me feeling fairly guilty. I have long suspected that I got into Northwestern because my cousin was on the faculty. At least, at every high school reunion, I have been accused of that by our class valedictorian, who didn’t. But then, I did graduate cum laude, so maybe not….

He has his acceptance locked in.

A future leader of America.

Move along, nothing to worry about here.

I thought that was George Bush!

Doanld Trump is too stupid to realize that he only got into prestigious schools because his money-laundering career criminal father bought him into them. Don Jr. and Eric are too stupid too realize that they only got into prestigious schools because their money-laundering career criminal father bought them into them. But I’m holding out the tad bit of hope for Ivanka!

Always thought that would be George W.-but now it’s WORSE!

It ain’t easy to get AEN’s eyes uneven like that. Good Job, Mike!

Alfred E. Newman lives! Huzzah! God must love idiots, he made so many of us.

Hey, didn’t I see this guy wondering the grounds at Harvard and Princeton too?