The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for March 23, 2014

Maybe he thought it was a palm reader with a lisp.

The Lord is my shepherd, but the gypsy is fleecing me.

Does he do requests?

That’s terrific!

I just got the 4:20.

If I give myself a dope slap, can you do a forehead reading?

I am not lying down in green pastures for anybody, not at my age.

Huh?

After the reading, she serves a nice salad made with bal-psalmic dressing.

Thanks for the reading. You will receive your reward….. in heaven.

Here are some more:“Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones” (Psalm 137.9).“Let the iniquity of his fathers be remembered with the Lord; and let not the sin of his mother be blotted out” (Psalm 109.14).“For in death there is no remembrance of thee: in the grave who shall give thee thanks?” (Psalm 6.5).

At a fortune teller or at church, you pay either way.

If you look at Psalms, it looks like David is bipolar:Oh, Lord, how I love thee!I am a wretched man, O Lord! I deserve to die!

I JUST got it. LOL, LOL, LOL

This reminds me of the newspaper ad that went, “Marajuana is illegal, grass isn’t, send me $1 and I’ll send you grass.” The people who sent in the money got back an envelope full of lawn clippings.

At the corner of wailing Wall Street and king david blvd.

Looks as if the customer may have misread the sign, and is now thinking, “Twenty-three skidoo!”