Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 03, 2012
Transcript:
"Elly Elephant sat alone staring at the sugar dispenser. 'Oh, that I could meet someone to share my life.' And poof, the Marriage Fairy appeared. 'Tell me your wish, and it shall be yours. But before Elly could answer, whe ran into her friend, Rita Rabbit. 'What's wrong, Rita Rabbit?' 'My husband was supposed to meet me here,' she said, 'but he's an hour late.' 'He's always an hour late. Always. Doesn't call. Nothing. That is, when he even remembers me.' 'Of course, if it's his friends, it's different,' said Rita Rabbit. 'Then he drops everything.' 'It's just so frustrating, Elly Elephant. To be married, but so alone. What would you do if you were me?' Elly Elephant crushed the Marriage Fairy with the sugar dispenser. *WHAM* Goat: Well now, that's a heartwarming tale. Rat: "'Now smash her with the salt shaker!' yelled Rita Rabbit.' Pig: RUN FROM THE condiments l'il fairy!!
spirit42 almost 12 years ago
wonder if I should forward this to my gf
Sherlock Watson almost 12 years ago
Remember, kids, “marriage” isn’t a word — it’s a sentence. And that’s one to grow on.
cutiepie29 almost 12 years ago
The problem I see here is that Ellie was asking for someone to share her life, not a “husband” like poor Rita has. Rita needs someone to share her life. They shouldn’t have smashed the marriage fairy, but put her to work fixing the issues.
Arianne almost 12 years ago
I’m afraid it’s hopeless, Pig. The condiments always catch up.
hawgowar almost 12 years ago
Maybe Rita is a nag and a bore.
zero almost 12 years ago
Does an elephant really need to use something to crush a fairy?
Sisyphos almost 12 years ago
Pig seems always a little late, and a good bit short, with his patented Sunday last-panel rants/exclamations! That said, i do think Elly Elephant’s direct action should have aimed at Rita rather than at the Marriage Fairy….
RetFor almost 12 years ago
the condom-mints are even worse…
Gilbert almost 12 years ago
@hawgowar….or maybe she’s just plum worn him out…she is a rabbit.
eddie6192 almost 12 years ago
Goat can be facetious at times.
GoodQuestion Premium Member almost 12 years ago
Oh sure, take it out on the MF . . . ☻
3hourtour Premium Member almost 12 years ago
..heck yeah..
route66paul almost 12 years ago
In a country where so many Gen-x men look to the far right is what makes them so called “practicing Christians”. They have been led to their version of Christianity by their extreme political beliefs.
CuproFun almost 12 years ago
…and Elle stands up to leave…and Rita’s hubby is wedged in her butt …
Alabama Al almost 12 years ago
I suspect the husband rabbit has his own story to tell concerning Rita.
Varnes almost 12 years ago
She got creamed……
Packratjohn Premium Member almost 12 years ago
I was raised as a “practicing Christian”, but I could never get it right and eventually gave it up. Now I’m a born again Pagan.
hariseldon59 almost 12 years ago
Just wait ’til Elly gets to the ketchup bottle.
finale almost 12 years ago
Can the Lil’ fairy cut the mustard?
Number Three almost 12 years ago
Poor Rita. You can’t understand men sometimes.
I love how Pig goes CRAZY!
xxx
tigre1 almost 12 years ago
Forgive me, I may be wrong…but I think real practicing Christians NEVER marry anybody who isn’t one of THEM.I may have known two real Christians in my whole life. Used to go to a LOT of churches, though. Met and still know a LOT of really nice people.
Tried to be a Christian back when I was young. Couldn’t do it. It was a LOT easier to become a Green Beret.
Don’t pay much attention to your ‘minister’…or priest…read the Book, you’ll see what I mean.
fredshoup Premium Member almost 12 years ago
fairy could have told rabbit to set her clock up to daylight saving time.
codedaddy almost 12 years ago
The brain drain in those areas in those decades affected men more than women, leaving a paucity of matches for bright females. People like Perry can even become governor with the competition having fled.
patsysutcliffe Premium Member almost 12 years ago
good point.
A.Ficionada almost 12 years ago
Does Stephan’s wife write this sometimes? Like when he’s running or late, or doesn’t show up, she takes up the pen and sends it to his editor without him knowing. Just a thought :-)
matrixphijr almost 12 years ago
They say the biggest mistake a woman makes when marrying a man is thinking he’ll change. The biggest mistake a man makes when marrying a woman is thinking she won’t.
librarymom almost 12 years ago
And Rita Rabbit’s husband is sitting at the bar drinking a beer and eating beer nuts, oblivious to the whole situation, God I love beer.
comicsnerd74 about 9 years ago
Do you hear that?“Run from the condiments, Li’l fairy!”Neither me nor Monita (my profile picture) has ever heard that anywhere!
kf6rro over 4 years ago
I guess Stephen was still upset about his divorce at that time…