Let’s see… watches you 24/7, knows if you’re naughty or nice and rewards you accordingly… are you sure we’re talking about Santa?
Simpsons did a good take on the elf
A Stephen Colbert word which I promptly purloined.
I use “brutal” as “hard-hitting, hold no punches truthiness”.
That would be doubleplusungood.
Well, at least toenail fungus is treatable.
He’d be a fine fit in a political environment.
Blessed are the Screwers, for they shall get what they deserve.
Also, I can’t get that song out of my head. There is a prophetic, and political, line that goes, “And it won’t make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong. When you’re rich they think you really know”.