Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for April 18, 2024

It’s a cross so many of us bear.

That’s why my pancakes came out gooey. I didn’t level the measuring cup, to make sure the water to instant mix ratio was correct. What a travesty. What a comedy of errors. What a way to start the day.

Banana Cream Splits…

Level slits is a cartwheel of entertainment.

Lumpy and Wally.

Pitching Mound is a lump in baseball Whose on the mound?

Oh. Well I blame my stumpy fingers on DNA.

Wait, I have to level with you, weight is the way to go. Leave the cups to the amateurs. Unless you are talking about taking those ingredients down a notch, showin’ ‘em who’s boss. Then, by all means, continue with your humble pie.

Speed bumps.

i sense a baking-style dissonance

Six pax abs.

My pace maker flat lined.

Poor ‘Clabber Girl’! The Pillsbury Doughboy is considered far cuter.

My catfish leveled the bank and spit the hook out of his mouth.

Mr. Catfish bumbled and was on the loose headed back to the muddy waters.

Had to use my cat like scenes and fences or no catfish nuggets for me tonight at supper.

Super Sue got it done!

When baking precise measurements matter. It’s just like chem lab in school.

I’ve leveled accusations.

I’ve been leveled by a fullback (who was held back 2 grades).

Decades ago there was a playing field in Huntsville, Arkansas that was unlevel (punts would a go a long way downhill and not very far uphill)

But I’ve never unleveled any ingredients.

…you say unleveled…

…I say unleavened…

…though placebo ingredients are not always on the level…

…witches brew with eye of Newt…

…gym of jordan…

…Shomee your Johnson…

…a couple of pinches of Marjorie Taylor Greene boogers…

…mix in a Trump golden sneaker and say the magic words…

…infantroopen, susbesdig,resection, benefishers ..

… and you’ll get the best & lightest buttermilk pancakes in all of Froglandia…

…swear to dog…

…on the unleveled…

My cakes all fell.

Will someone be levelling some charges. Or will everything just remain out of kilter?

Leveling is one thing, but if you don’t sift you are opening the gates of Hell for the demons of failure.

How much? Some. Enough, but not too much. Mostly.

She must live in Great Britain. All that leveling up can be depressive!

Sometimes just a smidgen will do …!

( or a dab will sometime do ya too, to, two )

Or unsettled contents during shipment….

Sofa bumps through the unsettling TV shows.

Here comes old flat top, groovin’ up slowly.

The Shadows in smoothies are housewives in Old market funnies.

You make the grade by being on the level.

…as the third and middle child…

…unleveled ingredients are mostly what our heritage is anyway…

…the primeval juices …

….shaken not stirred…

…and only with the freshest yeast…

There was a very odd sage from Quince Hill

who freely gave away his best counsel.

“Beware those who advise a level head,

‘squared away’ like a regular blockhead,

and singing without tickling their tonsils!"

— Excerpted from The Blight at the End of the Funnel by Paddy & Patty Cakes, Willy-Nilly Imprints Emporium

…Starbucks coffee says two tablespoons per 6 ounce serving…

…seems like quite a lot to me…

…I mean the stuff is already priced way too high…

…then you double the amount…

…and it still doesn’t taste strong enough…

…so I end up just pouring in a quarter of the bag…

…gone are the days of never warshing the pot…

…because the more seasoned the pot the better the taste…

…Folgers vs. Maxwell house…

…Mom made Chase and Sanborn so strong that you could stick a spoon in the middle of the cup…

…and it would stay there…

…and Yuban was the best…

100% arabica coffee…

…a unique aftertaste…

…it was delicious…

…that was until Folgers bought them out…

…and ruined it…

…the beginning of the end…

…an old lady spilling her coffee on her lap…

…getting third degree burns…

…was the end of great tasting coffee…

…if I could go back in time I would go back to 1977…

…go back to our just opened up McDonald’s…

…get a large cup of coffee with two creams…

…because…

…now..

…with all of the expensive ways to brew…

…and precisely measured amounts…

…perhaps…

…it is just my lost tastebuds…

…but, coffee is just another capitalistic product gone wrong…

…and we live in the nostalgia of brand memory and reflexes…

…because what we now get a product cut more cheap cocaine…and 10 oz. of coffee is now a pound. ..

Looking forward to it!