“An attorney for Steve Bannon argued in federal appeals court Thursday that Bannon should not have to serve jail time for contempt of Congress because he was merely following legal advice.” The Hill
February 29th is the birthdays of serial killers Aileen Wuornos and Richard “Night Stalker” Ramirez. The attorneys for both were unsuccessful at getting them tried as juveniles because they were about 11 years old at the time of their crimes. That didn’t work, either. Dilly! Dilly!
Has anyone ever mused about how Jesus chose to reward Saint Peter for being one of his most loyal disciples? “Hey, bro, have I got a great gig for you: processing paperwork 24 hours a day for eternity! You’ll love it.” (I had a boss like that once myself.)
I can’t tell you how many times customers came into our bank with paperwork or checks that were incorrect and explained that their lawyers told them it was okay. Lawyers are not bankers and apparently do not know how to follow the laws and regulations that banks must comply with.
Excuse me, but since God would have to inspired,slash made Apple computers, the concept, I would expect him/her/ they/ it to use it. Might go back to the whole Eden, apple thing.
Bilan 3 months ago
If you even believed it when a lawyer said that, you’re in the wrong line.
Ratkin 3 months ago
Even St. Peter has an Apple.
feverjr Premium Member 3 months ago
Worked for Steve Bannon…..
“An attorney for Steve Bannon argued in federal appeals court Thursday that Bannon should not have to serve jail time for contempt of Congress because he was merely following legal advice.” The Hill
Sanspareil 3 months ago
Looks like Carl hired one of the orange ones lawyers!
keenanthelibrarian 3 months ago
What about time off for good behaviour? Or is that purgatory?
Botulism Bob 3 months ago
I guess there are no lawyers in heaven!
Doug K 3 months ago
You need a lot of mercy … and grace through faith.
braindead Premium Member 3 months ago
From Jim Wright, Stonekettle Station
===
Trump: I need $540 million to appeal my fraud conviction for overvaluing my property.
Bank: $540 million?
Trump: That is correct. $540 million.
Bank: You’re asking us to loan you a half a billion dollars? To appeal a fraud conviction? A fraud conviction for defrauding banks.
Trump: Yes. $540 million. I’m good for it. I’m very rich. I can’t even tell you.
Bank: What do you have for collateral?
Trump:
Bank:
Trump: Well, I have some property in New York…
Bank: Security!
rik.gocomics 3 months ago
Obvious. Started with Eve, then Adam.
Brockie 3 months ago
And God said, Let Me have you talk to your lawyer who told you that, now where in the Hell is he….?
Count Olaf Premium Member 3 months ago
February 29th is the birthdays of serial killers Aileen Wuornos and Richard “Night Stalker” Ramirez. The attorneys for both were unsuccessful at getting them tried as juveniles because they were about 11 years old at the time of their crimes. That didn’t work, either. Dilly! Dilly!
Funniguy 3 months ago
Product Placement even at the Pearly Gates is an important “Jobs.”
dflak 3 months ago
“I was only following orders” has been used as defense before.
Out of the Past 3 months ago
So much for searching for a lawyer who will tell you what you want to hear. (And it doesn’t take long to find one).
wirepunchr 3 months ago
Ain’t karma a bîtćh!
royq27 3 months ago
If you get to the pearly gates on leap day, is the “staff” procrastinating?
PraiseofFolly 3 months ago
That background you see aglow Is from way down below/ Where bad lawyers go.
DaBump Premium Member 3 months ago
Oh yeah.
ladykat 3 months ago
When you die, all deals are off.
preacherman Premium Member 3 months ago
Fortunately, Heaven is run by those that forgive.
Richard S Russell Premium Member 3 months ago
Has anyone ever mused about how Jesus chose to reward Saint Peter for being one of his most loyal disciples? “Hey, bro, have I got a great gig for you: processing paperwork 24 hours a day for eternity! You’ll love it.” (I had a boss like that once myself.)
Holden Awn 3 months ago
In fact, points deducted if a lawyer told you it was OK.
mistercatworks 3 months ago
How ’bout two lawyers?
ira.crank 3 months ago
But I had faith that their interpretation was correct.
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] 3 months ago
Carl? Don’t you mean Donald?
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] 3 months ago
And besides that,Trump doesn’t like dogs.Automatic disqualification
Mike Baldwin creator 3 months ago
I hear the appeal process takes forever.
joannesshadow 3 months ago
I can’t tell you how many times customers came into our bank with paperwork or checks that were incorrect and explained that their lawyers told them it was okay. Lawyers are not bankers and apparently do not know how to follow the laws and regulations that banks must comply with.
mindjob 3 months ago
Why does Peter have to screen everybody out? Seems like Satan ought to have some of that responsibility. The lines are longer there, I’m sure
Silence Dogood Premium Member 3 months ago
Dotard’s dilemma, delay, delay, delayed!
leemorse9777 3 months ago
Excuse me, but since God would have to inspired,slash made Apple computers, the concept, I would expect him/her/ they/ it to use it. Might go back to the whole Eden, apple thing.
thedogesl Premium Member 3 months ago
Gonna be a rude surprise for the Orange Cult.
For a Just and Peaceful World 3 months ago
Tell that to Trump.
eddi-TBH 3 months ago
Next time, get it in writing. And notarized. At least you can the lawyer down with you.
jvscanlan Premium Member 3 months ago
Especially when you go shopping for some lawyer who will tell you just what you want . . . like a certain orange haired gentlem . . . cretin.
SrTechWriter 3 months ago
“… shopping for some lawyer …”
… or judge … … … or court jurisdiction …