Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 28, 2023

  1. Ding a ling
    BasilBruce  8 months ago

    Rat’s only problem here is that he refuses to be a doormat. That and crappy employers.

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    Bilan  8 months ago

    But you can drink coffee and nosh on the cookies when Joe isn’t watching.

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    BE THIS GUY  8 months ago

    One time I submitted a resume through an online job site. I also went down to a temporary job agency that sent me for an interview with a company that provided online software for banks. After the interview, I was hired. A few weeks after working there, I received an email from online job site that the company I was already for had rejected my résumé. I asked my supervisor what was going on? He said not to worry about it, that the HR department rejected résumé not knowing it belonged to someone who was already hired.

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    Erse IS better  8 months ago

    When I was growing up, if you wanted coffee you made it yourself or you bought it at a cafe or diner. And it cost… about 10% of an hour’s wages, for an entry level employee, more or less. Now, $tarbuck$ makes it so it’s full of fancy calories and costs closer to 35% (even 50%) of an hour’s wages. As far as I can see, this is a losing proposition for the customers, but they seem to be… addicted.

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    dadoctah  8 months ago

    The worst advice one person ever gave to another person is “just be yourself”.

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    orinoco womble  8 months ago

    I went to Starbucks a couple of times about 20 years ago. In those days in my S. European city strong rich coffee was the norm in any corner place. Starbucks coffee was neither, which they made up for with fancy syrups and flavourings and whipped cream and sprinkles. I objected to not being able to see behind the counter—what is it they don’t want you to see? And then those superhigh prices, for a paper cup with your name scrawled on it? You can still get coffee in the corner places but it’s not as strong now; the under 40s want everything “mild” in flavour, and prefer sugary “energy drinks” to honest espresso. But at least in the corner places you still get your coffee in a cup, or in many, a glass.

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    lavender headgear  8 months ago

    Of course, the “labor shortage” has nothing to do with a shortage of labor. People lost their jobs because of the Pfoizoning.

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    Armitage72  8 months ago

    You go to the store and grab a bag of potato chips that costs $3. You go to the cash register and hand the cashier $1. They say “That costs $3” and you respond “I know, but I only want to pay $1”. If they refuse to sell it to you, it doesn’t mean there’s a “potato chip shortage”. When a company says “people don’t want to work”, what they actually mean is “people don’t want to work for us for what we’re willing to pay.”

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    hariseldon59  8 months ago

    Rat wearing a tie with no shirt (or pants). I guess it worked for Yogi Bear

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    Justanolddude Premium Member 8 months ago

    They opened a starbucks by us only because we are an exit off the interstate. Ranchers and working people. It’s not always open. They can’t find enough people who want to work there.

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    figuratively speaking  8 months ago

    I’m sure there’s something that Rat does well. Science just hasn’t discovered it yet.

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    iggyman  8 months ago

    Hire Rat for the complaint Department!

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    Croc Holliday  8 months ago

    Define living wage, because it’s not going to be the same for everyone. And explain to me why every job that exists should be paid at such a level as to be able to support some arbitrarily determined standard of living.

    I bagged groceries in high school and college. I never once felt I was entitled to an hourly rate that would have afforded me my own place, car payment, utilities, etc. It was a part-time job, not a career choice.

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    Ellis97  8 months ago

    Thank God I don’t drink coffee.

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    DaBump Premium Member 8 months ago

    Huzzah for my (Goodwill find) Keurig!

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    HOTLOTUS1  8 months ago

    COFFEE

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    kittygatos  8 months ago

    When you think about it going out for coffee is a cheaper alternative than going shopping for ANYTHING or going to the movies. It’s a small luxury most can still afford. Breakfast costs what going out to lunch used to cost, lunch costs what going out to dinner was.. dinner has smaller and smaller portions and larger and larger prices…and I feel so sorry for Californians filling up their gas tanks.

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    david_42  8 months ago

    Coffee is ready! I make a pot every morning and drink a mugful. My wife WFH and drinks the rest. Starts work at 7 am, but is not a morning person.

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    Goat from PBS  8 months ago

    Why work when the government pays better for not working?

    I get the logic. I dislike it, but I get it.

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    Ignatz Premium Member 8 months ago

    What’s weird is that they think of themselves as capitalists, but don’t seem to understand that the labor market works by supply and demand, like everything else. If there’s a shortage of labor, that makes labor worth more, and you have to pay more for it.

    And if a worker isn’t making enough to pay his bills, he might as well try some kind of self-employment, since the “job” you “give” him doesn’t do the minimum thing that he needs a job for.

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    MS72  8 months ago

    Friday is National Coffee Day.

    Circle K is giving away one free cup of coffee of any size through its app until October 2, with the offer valid at more than 7,000 US locations.

    Dunkin’ is offering members of its loyalty program, Dunkin’ Rewards, a free medium hot or iced coffee with any purchase on Friday.

    Krispy Kreme is doing one better: Completely free coffee! Any customer can get a medium hot or iced coffee, no purchase necessary. The chain recently revamped its coffee with “better beans, smoother blends and richer roasts for fresh, delicious flavor,” it said.

    Peet’s Coffee says it’s “disrupting the coffee industry” with a new “Disloyalty Program.” For the first time ever, members of its rivals’ rewards programs (including Starbucks and Dunkin’) can use points earned elsewhere for a free coffee at Peet’s. A website has been set up to complete the process.

    Sheetz is giving customers a free Nitro or cold brew coffee (any size) with any purchase made through its app until October 1.

    Tim Hortons is giving members of its rewards program a free medium hot or iced coffee with a $3 or more purchase.Wendy’s is selling 99-cent small hot or iced coffee on its app.

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    timbob2313 Premium Member 8 months ago

    Labor shortage?? GQP solution is to dump child labor laws, put the kids to work for less or no pay

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    SusieB  8 months ago

    Looks like boss Joe will have to do more of the work himself. Maybe then he will appreciate the workers and show that appreciation by paying them fairly. Then again, maybe not.

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    bueller  8 months ago

    They make decent coffee.

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    Count Olaf Premium Member 8 months ago

    If you think that’s bad, you should see what Rat does to entitled psudo intellectual Liberal hipsters’ pumpkin spice lattes. Hint: It ain’t pumpkin spice syrup in there… ;)

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    Zebrastripes  8 months ago

    People will eventually learn you can’t live on love alone. Get a spine and get your @ss in gear!

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    rossevrymn  8 months ago

    So very proud of you, P.W…………………….one more day of not responding to this political,nonpolitical comment, and you have passed the test, lil’ Grasshopper.

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    mepowell  8 months ago

    For the price of a Starbucks coffee, you can get a coffee and a small burger or burrito at a fast food place!

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    Code the Enforcer  8 months ago

    This very strip is the epitome of today’s state of the nation, if not the world. And Covid has dealt a blow much more pernicious than just a pandemic. …

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    Radish the wordsmith  8 months ago

    HR: How do you perform under pressure?

    Me: Like David Bowie.

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    nopainogain  8 months ago

    now i kinda want to go to that coffee house

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    snowedin, now known as Missy's mom  8 months ago

    Mr. Pastis, you’re on a roll! I love it!

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    wildlandwaters  8 months ago

    …and they don’t pay well, either

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  34. Nowyoulisten
    zeexenon  8 months ago

    Corporate America 101.

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member 8 months ago

    Starbucks is overrated

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    PlatudimusAtom Premium Member 8 months ago

    Anyone’s whose ever waited tables knows how imperious, thoughtless and rude some customers can be. Rat only said what we’ve all thought but knew not to voice.

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    WCraft Premium Member 8 months ago

    This may garner more negative comments than posting something from a conservative point of view but here goes. IF everyone were to drop in just a token amount into the tip jar for the baristas, they would have a living wage. I never leave less than $1 per day for the local coffee shop, even when I only buy a coffee. They got up at 6 AM to make me coffee and always smile and the coffee (locally roasted) is awesome! Well worth it. I’d hate to see them close due to lack of employees.

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    pamela welch Premium Member 8 months ago

    “How Not to Interview For Dummies”

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  8 months ago

    And tell Private Ryan to save himself,I’m busy!

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  8 months ago

    Who invented the word “Barista”,and does it actually MEAN anything?

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    awgiedawgie Premium Member 8 months ago

    It’s a coffee shop. It’s not supposed to pay you a “living wage”. It’s where you work while you’re going to school getting educated for the job that will become your career, and that will pay you a living wage. If you want to settle for working in a coffee shop for the rest of your life, then you have to adjust your “living” to your income.

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    eric_harris_76  8 months ago

    I don’t interview well either, but not for that reason. Panic, mostly, I think.

    The last two job offers I got were from people I knew from a previous job, about a week apart. This, after numerous interviews that yielded nothing.

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  43. Whatever
    unfair.de  8 months ago

    Well done Rat. You can’t afford to work there anyway so just stick it to the man.

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  44. Whatever
    unfair.de  8 months ago

    After reading through the comments, I’m surprised how many people seem to consider it ok that there are employments, that are not paying during an full-time what a full time living costs.

    Those are not jobs, those are charity from the worker to the boss. I have no idea how anyone could convince me to aliment some prick with my work.

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    eddi-TBH  8 months ago

    Just because they need workers doesn’t mean the companies will try to improve conditions. Eventually everyone will be begging to come back. Yeah, any day now.

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    minty_Joe  8 months ago

    I was 17 (in 1997) when I started working a job. It was at a local grocery store and I was a bagging clerk. I made $4.75 per hour minimum wage part time and later full time over the summers. I stuck around there for 2 years, general housekeeping, cart retrieval, cleaning the recycled bottle and can machines (once I was 18) and a brief stint in the produce section. By the time I left, minimum wage was at $5.60 per hour. (I was also going to community college, too.)

    I changed jobs on and off over the past 26 years, yet experienced the highs and lows from those changes; employers who treat you great or terribly; lowered expectations on wage or job duties, being laid off, quitting a job, being fired and thrown under a train. I have had moments of doubt and wanting to just give up, but never followed through resigning myself to remaining on skid row.

    26 years later, here I am, working a job making between $17.62 and $18.50 an hour part time. It’s not a lot, but I’m not complaining either. Half of my job is basically tech support, so I still get to enjoy that. Once I am ready (enough funds and mental obstacles conquered), I’ll be going back and starting over my college education.

    The point I’m trying to say is, don’t give up. Yes, it’s been a crazy ride I’ve experienced in 25+ years, but I know what success grants you and what failures garnish from you. Still, don’t give up. Ask for help when you need it. Don’t be afraid to try something different. Gain experience and don’t beat yourself up over things you can’t change. I realize that I’m not making a ton of money, but that will come later.

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  8 months ago

    I often wonder who benefits most from our dysfunctional labor economy. I am thinking no one.

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    mdl1911a1  8 months ago

    Foamy the Squirrel was right!

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    Sisyphos  8 months ago

    Rat is not what you’d call a sociable kind of guy, you fat, entitled snobs!

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    ellisaana Premium Member 8 months ago

    I grew up in a coffee-centric family where everyone drank theirs black. Mother brewed hers so strong you could stand your spoon upright in it, and my brother brewed his in an old sock. But I never developed a taste for coffee. To this day, it has to be below freezing outside, the planets need to be in alignment and I’ll need a ride home from where I’m getting the coffee, because I take mine only with Sambuca. Starbucks doesn’t sell it that way.

    I’ve been in one of those stores exactly 3 times in my life— once to ask directions (they couldn’t help me; no one knew where they were) —once to write an estimate on an employee’s car (and all she was allowed to do was hand me her keys, not show me where she parked or discuss anything with me after I returned) and once (the last time) when I was partway home on a cross-country trip. My friend decided she needed ‘coffee.’ (I got a $2 cup of ice.)

    That said, I had a work partner who swore the best coffee came from a certain convenience store near our office. That worked for me. They had free water if I brought my own cup, and their hotdogs weren’t bad if they’d just opened a fresh pack of buns. Our boss was a Dunkin-addict and he wanted to sit in a booth. I was perversely fond of taking him to that same convenience store for lunch. Since he wanted to see what our real workday was like, I was too happy to show him.

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