Stone Soup by Jan Eliot for November 13, 2009

Amen to that. You go, Evie!

To all of the older women I’ve talked to I’ve said: men like you because you have more tricks in bed than most women in their 20’s.

Evie the grandcougar!

Fairportfan2, I think the word is “good” not “grateful”.

Tell me about it Evie, my stepson is 23 and his girlfriend, my former BEST FRIEND is 32(quickly approaching 33)…go figure. I know she’s good to him though…in more ways than one..she’s very sweet.

No, unfortunetly, the word was grateful…. or at least that is how I have always heard it. But remember, much shorter life span back then..makes a difference.

Sounds sexist to me to say she’s grateful. As though she’s so unattractive she has to be thankful a man would want her. As for being unseemly, lots of older men don’t care that they look ridiculous chasing after young women half their age.

It is sexist. When I heard that bit of “wisdom” from him, all respect I ever had for him disappeared forever.

But to finish Ben Franklin’s words of wisdom - (parphrased) if you put a bag over their head, you can’t tell the difference.

Or is that apocryphal?

Do all families talk about these things? I would think it would be a private matter.

Cougar!

This is Ben Franklin’s letter, and I apologize that it is so long, but it is funny (AND sexist!):

June 25, 1745 MY DEAR FRIEND:- I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural inclination you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you will find solid Happiness. Your Reason against entering into it at present appears to be not well founded. The Circumstantial Advantages you have in View by Postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that makes the complete Being. Separate she wants his force of Body and Strength of Reason; he her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are most likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissors. If you get a prudent, healthy wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient. But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking that Commerce with the Sex is inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice that in your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. This you call a Paradox, and demand my reasons. They are these:

Because they have more Knowledge of the world, and their Minds are better stored with Observations; their conversation is more improving, and more lastingly agreeable. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Man, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a thousand Services, small and great, and are the most tender and useful of Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an Old Woman who is not a good Woman. Because there is no hazard of children, which irregularly produced may be attended with much inconvenience. Because through more Experience they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your reputation; and regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be inclined to excuse an old Woman, who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his manners by her good Councils, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part. The Face first grows lank and Wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever; so that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old one from a young one. And as in the Dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of Corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal and frequently superior; every Knack being by Practice capable by improvement. Because the sin is less. The Debauching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her Life unhappy. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend making an old Woman happy. 8th & lastly. They are so grateful!!! Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry immediately; being sincerely Your Affectionate Friend, Benj. Franklin

My mom who is widowed gets a kick out of it when a younger man speaks to her and talks nicely to her and tells us about it. We usually give her a hard time. She is 84. Me at my age and married I would be flattered if a man pay omiaged to me. My husband mother use to talk about another man, although nothing ever happened she stayed loyal to her son’s deceaced father who died back in the late 60’s.

Anyone who knows anything about Ben Franklin knows he was a heavy drinker with multiple misstresses. He particularly liked married women! And He is not sayng old women are grateful beacuse they are ugly and should feel lucky to have any man, he is saying that at that time, an older woman was thought by most to no longer requier sex beacuse she could not bear children. She would be greatful to a man who satisfied her still present needs.

I’d only heard Franklin’s advice in its abbreviated form:

They won’t tell, They won’t swell, And they’re grateful as hell!

Celecca, thanks for posting. I hope to be getting some when I’m old. Some of the old women I know are bitter as he77 and maybe that’s why.

Mom is a Cougar

Definitely a cougar.

Did gramma just admit to liking the ladies? Go Gramma!