Sad news: It is with great sadness that we report the passing of the Pillsbury Doughboy. The cause of his death was from a yeast infection and trauma from repeated pokes in his belly.
Doughboy was buried in a greased coffin, with the gravesite piled high with flours.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects; including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies, and Capt. Crunch.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Born and raised in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being flakey at times, he was still a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, and his three children: John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough. He and his wife also had one in the oven. He is also survived by his father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
It’s been roughly 40 years since I’ve eaten a Pop Tart. They’re so non-nutritious, Kellogg’s should be required to market them as entertainment rather than food.
I am just amazed that RBION thinks that the holes in pop tarts need to be explained, and that it’s a “believe it or not” item. Like, did you know that apple pies often have punctures to release steam? RBION, try harder.
If you’re a celeb with money to tuck into the back pocket of your karate “sensei” you too can be a black belt. Not in any real competition though.
Haven’t eaten Pop-Tarts in a long time, so maybe someone who has more recent experience with them can remind me: what about the frosted varieties? Doesn’t the frosting clog the holes?
jasonsnakelover about 1 month ago
We get Rordon Gamsay, and not only that, but one time. One time.
May the Lord be with you as He is with me.
ronaldspence about 1 month ago
holes allow the pop-tart filling to regain the temperature of molten lava
comixbomix about 1 month ago
And after toasting, the holes allow the butter in to make them edible.
Pickled Pete about 1 month ago
Sad news: It is with great sadness that we report the passing of the Pillsbury Doughboy. The cause of his death was from a yeast infection and trauma from repeated pokes in his belly.
Doughboy was buried in a greased coffin, with the gravesite piled high with flours.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects; including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies, and Capt. Crunch.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Born and raised in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being flakey at times, he was still a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, and his three children: John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough. He and his wife also had one in the oven. He is also survived by his father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
tremaine53 about 1 month ago
It’s been roughly 40 years since I’ve eaten a Pop Tart. They’re so non-nutritious, Kellogg’s should be required to market them as entertainment rather than food.
poppacapsmokeblower about 1 month ago
Not only steam, but nutrients and flavor too. They may be more work, but Toaster Strudel have better pastry, and icing so taste better to me.
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] about 1 month ago
Which comes in handy when you have to tenderize a tough steak….
Angry Indeed about 1 month ago
It looks like Gordon Ramsay’s trying to take out the nefarious ribbon worm. He cried “It’s a ribbon worm, not pasta, you %$@!”
Will E. Makeit Premium Member about 1 month ago
which is why you eat Pop-Tarts directly out of the packet, especially the Brown Sugar Frosted ones!!!
oish about 1 month ago
“Part of a complete breakfast” : Pop Tart, Kraft Mac ‘n’ Cheese, Hot Pocket and don’t forget the Tang!
JohnShirley1 about 1 month ago
I am just amazed that RBION thinks that the holes in pop tarts need to be explained, and that it’s a “believe it or not” item. Like, did you know that apple pies often have punctures to release steam? RBION, try harder.
If you’re a celeb with money to tuck into the back pocket of your karate “sensei” you too can be a black belt. Not in any real competition though.
paullp Premium Member about 1 month ago
Haven’t eaten Pop-Tarts in a long time, so maybe someone who has more recent experience with them can remind me: what about the frosted varieties? Doesn’t the frosting clog the holes?