Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for August 31, 2022

Like the great Gary Larson, “Hey, I ordered a cheeseburger”.

Darned if you do and darned if you don’t.

Sounds like my wife. :⁠-⁠|

If that’s how houseplants really feel, it’s a good thing they can’t really see or talk.

It’s a thin line to cross.

Oh just feeds him to ninja sloth.

In my case, “OMG I’m going to Nuke’s house, I’LL DIE.”

I heard of a case of a woman who had a cactus as a houseplant. She would check the weather in Phoenix and if they reported that it had rained, she’d water it.

Houseplant philosophy #2: beware of all cats named ‘Garfield.’

The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The process engineer says you’ve got twice as much glass as you need.

If it’s a suck-ulant, you will eventually stop caring.

Or maybe my wife will take you home where you are sure to die. Some people have green thumbs others have toxic thumbs.

How about I get the mister..will that be sufficient?

Well, what do you expect from something with the I.Q. of a houseplant?

All about environment, (light, temperature, soil type) and water. And each kind uses water differently. Seasons change so do watering needs. Shorter days, less light, less water use.

Half empty? Half full?

Barkeep! Fill ’em up!

We all die,