Herman by Jim Unger for June 23, 2022

One time I was seven months old.

Because it don’t fit anymore.

Dump some grape juice on her to change the color.

The nerve

I’ve been wearing this suit for over two and a half years. Don’t know what her problem is.

♪She may be weary. Women do get weary, wearing the same shabby dress. And when she’s weary, try a little tenderness♪

Don’t buy her one and the next thing she’ll want is a divorce.

Why rush things?

(Although my beloved was well into maternity clothes by then. With a babe like his, how has he not…..?)

I like her in this dress. It’s so great.

Every day has been just like the day we got married.

Variation on an old joke:

Every day, my wife keeps asking me for hundred dollar bills.

What does she do with all that money?

I don’t know. I never give her any.

The usual exchange rate – she gets a new dress, he gets a new tie.

I wanted to buy a tuxedo, but she said I had to rent one. I’ve needed a tux 4 more times but she only wore that dress once.

Selfish.

That’s gratitude for ya

No she said ADdress.

That gal had no dresses?