Close to Home by John McPherson for May 18, 2022

Bleeb likes hanging out close to the ladies. Don’t look up wouldn’t be nice.

Another victory for the Terrible Security Agents

Chucky had a lot more hair, and better clothes.

Please no strip search, this is a family comic (even though Bleeb IS a little pervert)

Makes as much sense as anything those morons at TSA decide to do.

Behavioral profiling. Watch what people do, not what they look like. The 9/11 hijackers walked up to the ticket counter in small airports in Maine. They paid in cash for one-way, cross-country connecting through flights with no bags to check. Each of those is a red check mark on a list of suspicious behaviors. The total should be a clanging bell: SEARCH THIS GUY.

Don’t fault the poor TSA schlub who checks you through in any airport. They are the entry-level staff, and they’re paid to match. They are just poor working stiffs like everyone else, trying to do a stressful and thankless job dealing with the public, and for the public’s benefit. They are only doing what they have been trained and ordered to do by others, and it is not easy. If you have ever had any sort of imaging test, like a CAT scan or MRI , take a look at the image(s) and ask yourself if YOU could recognize everything in it? That’s what gazing into those carry-on bag imagers is like.

Good work, Bleeb! You are perfectly positioned. Enjoy. (You adorable little pervert, lol)

Don’t object. Don’t resist. Don’t be a dummy.

Scan-Tronic looks like a repurposed Orgasmatron.

Went on 6 baseball vacations with a buddy. He got wanded 3 times, me none. After the third, I got the hint and that was the last time we went on one. TSA must know something I figured.

An unfortunate resemblance, but I think she’s right. Keep him covered Ninny.

And you are the lucky winner of the Strip Search of the Day!

He doesn’t look like chucky.

Hoo-boy! Here comes the cavity search!

(GREEN PLAID ALERT!)

“I get that a lot”

Check his pockets for knives or gaudy overalls

Tough being Jon Gruden

No worries, Sir; I left my chef’s knife at home.

That’s as good a reason as any…

I was once pulled out of line because “we detected cocaine on your hands.” Absolute lies. There was no possible way to detect cocaine just walking through a scanner. I was strip searched. Idiots. I told them I had just finished a job interview and was going home. If there was any cocaine on my hands it probably came from the rental car steering wheel or the money I used to buy lunch. They never swabbed my hands. I showed them my letter confirming the interview, a stack of resumes, the rental car receipt, the hotel receipt, and my ID. What a bunch of morons. They had absolutely no cause. I told them I didn’t care what or how much they searched, just don’t “lose” or damage any of my property and don’t make me miss my flight.

Nini is stepping om bleebs left foot!

Seems fair.