Close to Home by John McPherson for April 25, 2022

at least that is better than termites i suppose…

Just in case you didn’t know, George didn’t have wooden teeth; they were ivory.

Good Golly, his thumbnail needs a little mending too.!!!

♫ In the pines, in the pines, where the sun never shines ♪

Well. At least he got to the root of the problem.

I wonder what Dutch Elm Disease tastes like?

Well, the good news is that it is not Beech Blight!

Looks like there’s a second Bleeb today.

He probably wishes he had cavities instead

You know… I’ve always heard that our first President had been overheard mentioning:

“Hmm, what’s that weird taste in my mouth? It kinda reminds me of Elm bark…

… but with a hint of bugs and fungus!”

George had a standing dental appointment at tooth hurty.

I remember being taught about his wooden teeth. The truth is much darker. His teeth were likely supplied by pulling healthy teeth from the mouth of slaves. It was a common practice at the time.

And your gums have splinters…

I went to the dentist today and he kept saying to a 6 year old boy in the next room, “You are such a big helper keeping your mouth open like that.”

Not once did they say that to me.