Frazz by Jef Mallett for February 24, 2022

Life is too short to be spending time without caffeine.

What did Moby Dick have to do with Quoffee?

Wrong premise!

Life is not too short for instant coffee!

True story: I had a Condo Association meeting at my house, about 14 people, and was out of coffee. I used my 30 cup West Bend party perc, filled it with water and the basket with instant coffee and let it perk through. Everybody raved about the coffee. Didn’t have the heart to tell them the truth.

Am I the only one who wants to know what was in those boxes?

Am I the only one whose initial interpretation of “refresh the pot” wasn’t coffee?

I guess that says something about my younger years.

You know we have to rethink things when you drop $200 in your F150’s fuel tank, then go line up for 5 to 10 minutes at the drive thru, idling, waiting for a cup of half-a$$ coffee. All the while California is running out of water, Australia is burning and Florida is slowly drowning. To quote Penny, it creams my corn…

Life is apparently too short to teach these kids about false analogies.

Who says life is too short for instant coffee? Who even drinks instant coffee?

Caulfield reminded me of the instant flavored coffees by General Foods that used to grace supermarket shelves. Don’t see those anymore. Used to try them just for fun and actually found a couple I could tolerate as a change from what passed for coffee where I worked. Now I see some of the same flavors listed, so maybe after 60 years, it’s time for another taste test. Somebody has to do it.

I really don’t get the whole waiting in long lines for overpriced coffee. It’s too easy to make at home for just pennies- including snazzy add ins like caramel and cream

In A History of the World in 6 Glasses, author Tom Standage gets into comparisons. Amazon describes the book thus: “Beer, wine, spirits, coffee, tea, and Coca-Cola: In Tom Standage’s deft, innovative account of world history, these six beverages turn out to be much more than just ways to quench thirst. They also represent six eras that span the course of civilization―from the adoption of agriculture, to the birth of cities, to the advent of globalization. A History of the World in 6 Glasses tells the story of humanity from the Stone Age to the twenty-first century through each epoch’s signature refreshment. As Standage persuasively argues, each drink is in fact a kind of technology, advancing culture and catalyzing the intricate interplay of different societies. After reading this enlightening book, you may never look at your favorite drink in quite the same way again.”

I love Jeff’s drawings

I taught for 31 years and none of our custodians would have dreamed of making coffee for the teachers ! They had their own supply in their breakroom. But none of them drank ezpresso either.

Caufield’s parents are the type that give teachers a bottle of wine with a note that says “we know are kid will drive you to drink, may as well have one on us” aren’t they?

Their advertising jingle encourages customers to “Quaff a quart of quaffienated quality at Queequeg’s Quoffee!”

Wow. Moby Dick ref. AND a crew mate of… Starbuck’s.