Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for November 30, 2021

You should have asked for peanuts and a colouring book.

Did they zip-tie you, too?

He’s a bird. If he flapped his way there, he’d arrive sooner than in a plane locked into a holding pattern or diverted to another airport.

Sometimes the aviation gods smile on us. One time I boarded a flight from JFK to LAX only to discover that my seatmates were going to be a very large woman with a baby and an unruly brat. The wonderful flight attendant must have seen the look of distress on my face. She signaled me to accompany her and put me in a Business Class seat. All she said was " I think you’ll be a little more comfortable here. " Understatement of the year!

Somewhere, there’s a special place in flight attendant heaven for that thoughtful woman!

Unruly children on a plane should be asked to go play outside.

I remember the cross ocean flight where a crying child kept trying to open the door and go outside. His screaming mother kept dragging him away to their seats. I’m sure he couldn’t have opened it… but still.

When I want to calm down an infant, I always cram it into a long metal tube with funny-smelling food, peanut “emissions”, loud noises and irritable people. Hasn’t worked yet but hope springs eternal.

Should put him in the wheel well.

LOL

Depends on his routine maintenance…

As a writer, Cosmo should have said, “Lots of infantile crying.”