Jeff Stahler for October 24, 2021

Bubble bubble supply chains toiled and troubled

Maybe its a sympathetic magic technique to blight the corn and grape crops. In such a spell, whatever is done to a sample specimen, such as boiling a grape or some corn, can be made to happen to masses of the same things. A heat wave during growing season, perhaps.

could’a saved MacBeth a lotta trouble.

I only wished those supply problems were our only, or biggest problems. They do make an easy target for people afraid to stick their necks out and go after the real problems, though.

Can you imagine our grandparents complaining that the day was ruined because their favorite flavor of hummus wasn’t available?

Isn’t amazing that Biden is responsible for the Global Supply Chain problems, I thought that he was only the president of the USA.

The horror, the horror!!!!! They are running short of beer bottles and cans and wine bottles!!! Oh! The Humanities!!!!

During the depression people just added more water to the soup when relatives arrived unannounced. The supply chain was a stolen chicken (when available).

I don’t know; candy corn and M&Ms work pretty well.

Damp, coarse sponge: brains

Twisted chenille stems: spider

Pretzel sticks: petrified rat tails

Dried apricots: dried-up tongues

Thread: spiderwebs

Cooked, cold spaghetti noodles: worms or veins

Peeled grapes: eyeballs

Dried apple slices: ears

Blanched, peeled tomato: heart

Fake fur: dead animal

Tines of a plastic fork: vampire teeth

Soft flour tortilla: skin (can add a little oil)

Feed corn: teeth

Cornsilk: hair

Baby dill pickles with pistachio shells pushed into the tip: witches’ fingers

Overcooked rice with raisins in cooking oil: rotting maggots and bugs

Small peeled potatoes stuck together with chenille stems: spiders

I was at my local grocery store yesterday. They had almost no Gatorade. They had almost no frozen waffles. Only one brand of frozen french fries, but I suspect it would have been gone in a few hours, since they were out of them the last time I was there.

Bad news for people craving junk. On the other hand, they had plenty of real food.

Something wicked is delayed in this way coming.

Good news for me. I prefer grapes (unpeeled) and popcorn balls!

I’m sure “locally sourced” rather than imported would make for a better potion, anyway.

Gingrich only has two eyes – haven’t these witches already used those up?

Welcome to the long emergency. By the way, the pandemic wiped out the fracking boom. Hubberts Peak turned into a plateau for a decade, expect a Thelma and Louise style recovery.

An old joke was where an American and a Russian both die and are damned. They are told there are two hells, Soviet Hell and American Hell. When asked the difference, the imp says “In American Hell you must eat one cup of mud per day. In Soviet Hell you must eat two cups of mud.” The American elects to go to American Hell, but the Russian opts for Soviet Hell. Years later they meet again.

American: “My friend, you made a mistake. In American Hell all I need to do is have my cup of mud in the morning then I can do whatever I want for the rest of the day.”

Russian: “Nyet comrade, I am afraid you made the mistake. Half the time in Soviet Hell there is no mud, and the other half of the time there are no cups.”

The best witches self-source all their essential supplies.