Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for March 29, 2021

It always ends from where you started… Think about it.

Recalculating…

No, you DO need it for base running.

So called smartyphones makin hyoomans dumber.

GPS could get you lost by taking you the wrong way.

GPS once told me to make a U turn……in a tunnel.

I love the road signs in the UK (especially in Wales) that advise LGV drivers to ignore our GPSs because our lorries won’t fit down that road…

The guy heading for third base is using the NASCAR app, “Turn left.”

When I visited Yellowstone Park several years ago, I used a GPS to find my way from the motel to the park entrance. It had a destination programmed for “Old Faithful and the Geysers” but not for “Yellowstone National Park” so that’s what I used. It turned me down a maintenance road just around a heavily wooded bend in the road from the park entrance for which I was looking. Imagine my reaction when I saw that same brand of GPS for sale inside the park.

You don’t need gps…just follow the yellow brick road…

I got my first GPS after a hike. I climbed the peak off trail, came down to the road that my truck was parked on, and couldn’t tell which direction to go to find the truck. I guessed wrong, very long day.

OK, let’s go over this again. This is your ass. There is third base. Are we good now?

Ever wonder why GPS uses a female voice? Is it because a female voice is easier for male drivers to ignore (like they ignore the wife who is holding the map) or because it is easier to blame a female voice when the directions are wrong.

Everything that’s a hit these days goes too far…we need to touch down with home-base once in a while..

How do the outfielders use GPS to find the fly balls?

When we went to France a few years ago, we rented a GPS unit to go with our rental car. It tried to send us the wrong direction down one way streets and at one point picked out a route between 2 cities that was twice as long as it needed to be.

We shut it off and bought maps after that.

If you had to rely on GPS, you wouldn’t make it to first base.

I hope they have the right ball park in their GPS’s.

My GPS once told me to make a U-turn while on a one way street!