New Adventures of Queen Victoria by Pab Sungenis for April 18, 2020

Sucks, doesn’t it?

That looks like properly distanced from France and Germany.

Henry Crun: It’s much too dark to see, strike a light.

Seagoon: Not allowed in blackout.

Minnie Bannister: Strike a dark light.

Seagoon: No madam! Madam we daren’t. Why, only twenty eight miles across the Channel the Germans are watching this coast.

Henry Crun: Don’t you be a silly pilly policeman.

Minnie Bannister: Bravo Henry.

Henry Crun: Pittle Poo.

Minnie Bannister: Pittle Poo. They can’t see a match being struck.

Seagoon: Oh, all right.

FX: [Striking match – bomb whistle – explosion]

Seagoon: Any questions?

Henry Crun: Yes, where are my legs?

Minnie Bannister: Where are my legs?

Seagoon: Now are you aware of the danger of German long range guns?

Henry Crun: Mnk ahh I have it! I’ve got it, I’ve got the answer. Just by chance I happen to have on me a box of German matches.

Seagoon: Wonderful! Strike one. Ha, they won’t dare fire at their own matches.

Henry Crun: Of course not. Now…

FX: [Striking match – bomb whistle – explosion]

Henry Crun: …Curse… The British, the British!!!

Where’s Das Boot?

No signs of a return of the Spanish Armada.

No one expects the… oh wait…

The air is much cleaner. We aren’t emitting as much greenhouse gases. Silver lining, but it won’t last.

At least I don’t have to go to school.