Henry Crun: It’s much too dark to see, strike a light.
Seagoon: Not allowed in blackout.
Minnie Bannister: Strike a dark light.
Seagoon: No madam! Madam we daren’t. Why, only twenty eight miles across the Channel the Germans are watching this coast.
Henry Crun: Don’t you be a silly pilly policeman.
Minnie Bannister: Bravo Henry.
Henry Crun: Pittle Poo.
Minnie Bannister: Pittle Poo. They can’t see a match being struck.
Seagoon: Oh, all right.
FX: [Striking match – bomb whistle – explosion]
Seagoon: Any questions?
Henry Crun: Yes, where are my legs?
Minnie Bannister: Where are my legs?
Seagoon: Now are you aware of the danger of German long range guns?
Henry Crun: Mnk ahh I have it! I’ve got it, I’ve got the answer. Just by chance I happen to have on me a box of German matches.
Seagoon: Wonderful! Strike one. Ha, they won’t dare fire at their own matches.
Henry Crun: Of course not. Now…
Henry Crun: …Curse… The British, the British!!!