Bad Machinery by John Allison for September 12, 2022

So here’s some more old familiar faces: Erin Winters, reporter for the Tackleford Cormorant, nemesis of the mystery kids (because she passive-aggressively refuses to get their names right), and Queen of Hell (on sabbatical); her rolling deathtrap Phyllis; and her coworker, Mike Savage. Last we saw Mike (https://www.gocomics.com/bad-machinery/2021/07/07) his hair was still mostly brown. Also he had more of it. The time before that, he was fighting a giant bee, and only survived because he was so drunk that biology got confused.

My first car did indeed have a hole in the floor. Old Volkswagens had the battery mounted under the back seat with no drip pan. Battery gets old, leaks, corrodes a hole in the floor. My vintage car came with a vintage board to keep the new battery from falling through. Oh, if the battery shorts out your backseat catches fire. Lucky I was on a residential street so I could pull it out onto the road to stamp it out.

Oh, yes, metal most certainly can get threadbare.

Well, not literally, but the equivalent.

If you make a habit of nicking, you will get caught eventually. Law of averages. And you kids aren’t rich enough to get away with it.

Count me in. Two Beetles with multiple holes, front and back (battery hole was pretty much a given).

What would be a good topic to get reader’s attention? If only there was a sign.

The best thing that ever happened to my career was getting out of the newspaper business. Actually, getting shoved out via a downsizing.

Hey! Phyllis is a great car and deserves more respect! Seriously, if Mike wants Erin’s to have a new car, he has to help her have a raise.