Usually I’m with ya there, Aunty but this time . . . .well, let’s just say one pair came from a dead witch’s feet and the other were glass and caused women to cut off their toes/heels to make them fit (in the original Grimms’). Soo … I might just pass on these particular pairs of “cute shoes” .. . LOL
Anna knew She had to have a new pair of shoes today, and Carlo had helped her try on every pair in the store. Carlo spoke wearily, “Well, that’s it. That’s every pair of shoes in the place.”
“Oh, you must have one more pair. . . .”
“No, not one more . . . . Well, we have the cruel shoes, but no one would want to try . . .
“Yes, let me see the cruel shoes!"
“No, you don’t understand, you see, the cruel shoes are . . .’
“Get them!”
Carlo disappeared into the back room for a moment, and then reappeared carrying an ordinary shoebox. He took off the lid and removed a hideous pair of black and white pumps. But this was not an ordinary pair of black and white pumps; both were left feet, one had a right angle turn with separate compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions. The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair with a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place.
Carlo spoke hesitantly, “. . . Now you see . . . they’ re not fit for humans . . .” “Put them on me.”
“But… “Put them on me!”
Carlo knew all arguments were useless. He knelt down before her and forced the feet into the shoes.
The screams were incredible.
Anna crawled over to the mirror and held her bloody feet up where she could see.
“I like them.”
She paid Carlo and crawled out of the store into the street.
Later that day, Carlo was overheard saying to a new customer, “Well, that’s it. That’s every pair of shoes in the place. Unless, of course, you’d like to try the cruel shoes.”
– Steve Martin from the album “Comedy Is Not Pretty”
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member over 5 years ago
That’s a powerful argument.
keltii over 5 years ago
I always wondered, if those were ruby slippers, what did they call heels?
Marvin Premium Member over 5 years ago
Certainly not the two words: Aunty Acid.
anomalous4 over 5 years ago
If Ceiling Cat meant for people to wear shoes, he’d have made them feet-shaped.
CoffeeMom over 5 years ago
Usually I’m with ya there, Aunty but this time . . . .well, let’s just say one pair came from a dead witch’s feet and the other were glass and caused women to cut off their toes/heels to make them fit (in the original Grimms’). Soo … I might just pass on these particular pairs of “cute shoes” .. . LOL
bakana over 5 years ago
And Lila.
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] over 5 years ago
In the new cartoon series about Dorthy in Oz those red ruby slippers can get her out of trouble or put her in the middle of it.
Charlie Tuba over 5 years ago
CRUEL SHOES
Anna knew She had to have a new pair of shoes today, and Carlo had helped her try on every pair in the store. Carlo spoke wearily, “Well, that’s it. That’s every pair of shoes in the place.”
“Oh, you must have one more pair. . . .”
“No, not one more . . . . Well, we have the cruel shoes, but no one would want to try . . .
“Yes, let me see the cruel shoes!"
“No, you don’t understand, you see, the cruel shoes are . . .’
“Get them!”
Carlo disappeared into the back room for a moment, and then reappeared carrying an ordinary shoebox. He took off the lid and removed a hideous pair of black and white pumps. But this was not an ordinary pair of black and white pumps; both were left feet, one had a right angle turn with separate compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions. The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair with a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place.
Carlo spoke hesitantly, “. . . Now you see . . . they’ re not fit for humans . . .” “Put them on me.”
“But… “Put them on me!”
Carlo knew all arguments were useless. He knelt down before her and forced the feet into the shoes.
The screams were incredible.
Anna crawled over to the mirror and held her bloody feet up where she could see.
“I like them.”
She paid Carlo and crawled out of the store into the street.
Later that day, Carlo was overheard saying to a new customer, “Well, that’s it. That’s every pair of shoes in the place. Unless, of course, you’d like to try the cruel shoes.”
– Steve Martin from the album “Comedy Is Not Pretty”