Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 13, 2019
March 12, 2019
March 14, 2019
Transcript:
richard's poor almanack by richard thompson mall santa advisory don't subject your child to a substandard santa capitol hill mall washington, d.c. santa's patter somewhat colored by his day job at the association of toxic toy manufacturers and importers of america. santa 1: did you know that lead may reduce the chance of cooties? santa 2: so, i found i'm allergic to elf dander, then we had the near-meltdown at the candy cane factory, then i had that emergency tinselectomy. paymore plaza rockville, md. santa won't shut up about his tiresome problems. sprawlville towne centre shop-u-plex most of virginia. small children may be at risk because of santa's nervous leg jiggle. santa 3: what do you want for christmas? the galleria at fancypants square mclean, va. german expressionist santaland may be too disturbing for sensitive children. kid: get me outta here.
Ratbrat about 5 years ago
German expressionism is one of the more disturbing art forms. Can’t blame that kid, or any adults wanting out either!
smorbie the great and beautiful about 5 years ago
Yeah, that one is pure nightmare fuel. I loved the santa who had the tinselectomy.
Kip W about 5 years ago
“Sprawlville Town Centre Shop-U-Plex: [location] Most of Virginia.”
I made immoderate laughy-type noises.
WoodEye about 5 years ago
Nervous leg jiggle is a sign of Parkinson’s Disease. I know…
Joliet Jake about 5 years ago
I’ve been to the Galleria in McLean, and the “Fancypants Square” bit is right on the money.
Sisyphos about 5 years ago
All mall Santas are scary, but not equally so. German Expressionist Santa would scare the bejeesus out of me….
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] about 5 years ago
Peculiar, Santa is half Light Elf so he should be immune to the same things the White Light Elves are.