Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 13, 2019

Transcript:

richard's poor almanack by richard thompson mall santa advisory don't subject your child to a substandard santa capitol hill mall washington, d.c. santa's patter somewhat colored by his day job at the association of toxic toy manufacturers and importers of america. santa 1: did you know that lead may reduce the chance of cooties? santa 2: so, i found i'm allergic to elf dander, then we had the near-meltdown at the candy cane factory, then i had that emergency tinselectomy. paymore plaza rockville, md. santa won't shut up about his tiresome problems. sprawlville towne centre shop-u-plex most of virginia. small children may be at risk because of santa's nervous leg jiggle. santa 3: what do you want for christmas? the galleria at fancypants square mclean, va. german expressionist santaland may be too disturbing for sensitive children. kid: get me outta here.