Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for August 11, 2016

Transcript:

Ceci n'est pas Tom the Dancing Bug Its true! doug mania is sweeping the land, and we're licensing the haverhill of the super THE LICENSING OF DOUG Here is a sampling of some -to be-availabel products that will allow you to proudly say "I like dough and Im willing to pay for it" Exercise video! Is Doug qualified to do an exercise video? Consider the facts: 1> he was approached by a video marketing company to do one. 2. he said, "yes" Overweight? Why di sit ups when you can buy something?! It took a team of olfactorologists months to come up with the proper scent, but one whiff of this fragrance and your nostrils will scream, "DOUG"! Perfume D'oug "That sophisticated stench" also can be used to remove paint and unclog pipes. Doug the official mascot of the 1996 OlMPICS! yes, they axed that annoying generic cartoon mascot, "whatizit" and brought in the annoying generic cartoon mascot of choice: Doug! Introducing atlantas new slogan....suffice it to say atlantes ! Doug has written a novel! Pirate List by Doug and William Styron Dougs Pirate Lust Well, he didn't sit down and pend out the words on a smith coronas but it was his management team that: * Suggested major plot developments * Approved the cover design * Insisted that all sex described be safe sex! Doug Brand Rolling paper (for tobacco only) * Doug Brand Pipe (for smoking tobacco) ) Doug brand syringe (for injecting tobacco) *DOug Brand Speedboat(for transporting tobacco across borders) Doug Says: "Buy my stiff! Americas got a Doug Jones!