Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal by Zach Weinersmith for February 26, 2015

This happened to me. The Chinese woman next to me claimed to be an ordained Catholic priest. She had no idea why reading random passages from the bible at me didn’t automatically turn me into a believer. Man, was I thankful for that capsule in my hollow tooth.

Always carry a vial of eye-glaze.(Excerpt from the Great Lakes Travel Guide.)

I’d have to tell him some bad news.

Years ago, some joker in our company hired a bunch of kids studying to be preachers at a local fundamentalist church school. Most of them were from down South and had been raised in communities with few religious denominations other than their own. .They considered it a challenge working with us of other faiths, to act as missionaries in “leading us to Jesus.” It was creepy and offensive to have one or two of them corner people and start their spiel. I wish I could tell the story here about how Dale the welder dealt with it — salty language not suitable for this site. Eventually they had to be told to back off.

Though I am a Christian, I’ve had two young men approach me to discuss their faith (a different faith than mine) while I was outside working on my truck. The truck was on jack stands with one wheel off, and I was underneath trying to loosen a rusted bolt. Still, these gentlemen wanted to talk. I was already frustrated that the bolt I was working on wouldn’t loosen up, and the two guys were not helping the situation. Needless to say the conversation didn’t go as well as it could have. Probably not very Christian of me.

Blurt out “Love thy neighbor!”, jump on the stranger and kiss him, and transfer that handy capsule into HIS teeth.

Though I heartily promote the promotion of any good christian faith, and then some, I also readily acknowledge that there’s always a time and a place for it. Opening with a line like that in an environment like that probably is not the best way to go about doing it. I would AT LEAST go into the subject gradually, and of course, not press if it made the other person too uncomfortable, because then it defeats the whole point.

The translations of the Bible are not as rich and poetic as the original Klingon text.

Cyanide would take too long.

I always tell them about the wonders of Pastafarianism.

I’m a loyal Pastafarian; however, there’s a possibility that the original Klingon text of the bible might convert me. To something . . .

An ex-boyfriend of mine became enthused with a new religion and sent me pamphlets and tracts every day for weeks despite my pleading with him not to do so. As I had moved out of the area and had an unlisted phone number, it became necessary to return the materials, unopened, with “no longer at this address” marked on them. They eventually stopped.

Once I was riding my bike and stopped on the red light. A guy then got closer and said “have you accepter god? do you have a minute?” =.=