Drabble by Kevin Fagan for January 21, 2015

And if that doesn’t work, they will guilt you to death..

For the feral ones, out come the welding gloves.

I found this online:

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power wash and rinse” which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,The DOG

After being missing for several hours, my sister’s cat was found rummaging in the attic. The formerly-orange cat was now a dark grey. The solution was to fill the bathtub with warm water and bubble bath, toss the cat into the tub and quickly close the shower door. We thank the inventors of porcelain and ceramic tile for making them more or less cat proof.

To keep the hairballs under control, my daughter bathes her cat about once a month. She says the cat stands in the water and cries “Nooooooo, nooooo, nooooo!” the entire time. LOL!

Talk about extreme efforts, all I do damp a rag with warm water and pet the cat.

I had a cat that once took a nap inside the engine compartment of my car. She came out covered with all sorts of nasty grease. I grabbed her by the nape of the neck, took her to the bathroom and used half a bottle of shampoo getting all the gunk out. There was some blood shed (mine) but the cat put up with it for the most part — I suspect she’d tried cleaning herself with her tongue and couldn’t handle the taste. And she never went under the car again.

If you bathe them on a regular basis from kittenhood, they usually get used to it and don’t fight that much. I’ve got friends who do this (every two weeks) in order to minimize allergens in the house..If you try it only on those rare occasions when they get seriously dirty, then yes, you’re looking at a serious fight. I recommend wearing leather clothes for protection.

I was taking a bath and my cat decided to watch. I made splashing noises like a fish’s tail to watch her react. She jumped over the edge of the tub, saw water coming toward her, turned on the anti-gravity in her tail, and jumped back out of the tub. She did not leave wet footprints on the floor as she ran out.

Yep—that pretty much sums it up. Great image in the last panel, too.

@RichardYour post reminded me of a similar list, about how to give a cat a pill in 18 easy steps. This one made me laugh.