Adam: Aaah! Garbage day!
Laura: So? What?
Adam: I was going to wake up early and do it.
Laura: Oh no! Oh no! You've got to catch the truck!
Adam: Wait! Tommy! Gary! Wait! There's baby diapers in here! They'll eat through the bag!
Some dope has been throwing liquor bottles in our yard and we have to pick them up and put them with our trash. I don’t like that at all, we don’t drink and I don’t want people thinking we do.
After I started putting catbox “clumps and nuggets” into the garbage bag, that almost completely stopped the wildlife from breaking into the bags overnight.
Years ago, a guy named Dan Valentine wrote a column in the Salt Lake [Utah] Tribune. One running joke was that he was the only one in his neighborhood/building that would admit to drinking (Utah, remember), so on garbage day his trash can was always always full of empties. He said the only thing that was embarassing was the cheap liquor his neighbors bought.
Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine, so the no alcohol rule puzzles me. I don’t drink alcohol, but that’s because I don’t care for the taste.
The so called “wine” Jesus made from water was unfermented grape juice. Some of us Baptists call grape juice Baptist wine. I have even drunk it in a wine glass and felt really elegant.
There’s no justification for Macushlacondra’s statement of which I’m aware. Drunkenness is a vice, but wine is a blessing given by God to Noah after the Flood. If “grape juice” were meant, “grape juice” would likely have been stated.
The Miracle at Cana provides, I have heard, one of the few actual jokes in the Bible. After Jesus turned the water into WINE, one of the guests states “This is the first party I’ve ever been to where they put out the BAD wine FIRST, and save the GOOD stuff fo the end…”
I’m sure that there is a deep theological meaning to the guest’s remark as well, but it’s structured like a punchline.
cleokaya over 14 years ago
That is me only it is the recycling.
Wait! There are liquor bottles in here! They’ll think I drink way more than my neighbors.
alondra over 14 years ago
Some dope has been throwing liquor bottles in our yard and we have to pick them up and put them with our trash. I don’t like that at all, we don’t drink and I don’t want people thinking we do.
The Duke 1 over 14 years ago
cleo, last time I put out glass for the recyclers there were 7 1/2 gallon rum bottles in it!!
poppy1313 over 14 years ago
You should have put them out last night
Kiba65 over 14 years ago
Put it out on the curb the night before Dufus!!!
KansasMom over 14 years ago
Adam needs to buy a trashcan with wheels, then he can have the kids pull it out.
celeconecca over 14 years ago
This must be a relatively small town if Adam knows the garbagemen’s names.
bald over 14 years ago
adam knows the garbage men on a first name basis?
he needs to get a job outside the home.
i knew one of the garbage men where i lived in california, only because he was related to one of my neighbors
KansasMom
in some communities those are provided by the city as part of the service
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
I’m going to miss my kids on garbage days. ;^)
Armand Bastionairre over 14 years ago
Adam you make me laugh so much.
Takiniteasy over 14 years ago
@somebodyshort,
After I started putting catbox “clumps and nuggets” into the garbage bag, that almost completely stopped the wildlife from breaking into the bags overnight.
ottod Premium Member over 14 years ago
Years ago, a guy named Dan Valentine wrote a column in the Salt Lake [Utah] Tribune. One running joke was that he was the only one in his neighborhood/building that would admit to drinking (Utah, remember), so on garbage day his trash can was always always full of empties. He said the only thing that was embarassing was the cheap liquor his neighbors bought.
Dapperdan61 Premium Member over 14 years ago
Adam is such a boob
linwoodbragg over 14 years ago
Adam, my friend, don’t worry I have felt that panic before … it is no fun, but you can always wait another week.
fritzoid Premium Member over 14 years ago
ottod, I heard a joke along similar lines about Southern Babtiss.
Catholics don’t recognize the Eastern Orthodox church. . Protestants don’t recognize the authority of the Pope.
Baptists don’t recognize each other when they meet at the liquor store.
If you go fishing, don’t invite a Baptist because he’ll drink all your beer. Instead, invite TWO Baptists, and you’ll have all the beer to yourself.
WyattMute over 14 years ago
Whoohoo for dumpsters and recycling bins….
Sorting recycling is also waaay simple here. Go Portland, OR!
krisl73 over 14 years ago
Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine, so the no alcohol rule puzzles me. I don’t drink alcohol, but that’s because I don’t care for the taste.
alondra over 14 years ago
The so called “wine” Jesus made from water was unfermented grape juice. Some of us Baptists call grape juice Baptist wine. I have even drunk it in a wine glass and felt really elegant.
fritzoid Premium Member over 14 years ago
There’s no justification for Macushlacondra’s statement of which I’m aware. Drunkenness is a vice, but wine is a blessing given by God to Noah after the Flood. If “grape juice” were meant, “grape juice” would likely have been stated.
The Miracle at Cana provides, I have heard, one of the few actual jokes in the Bible. After Jesus turned the water into WINE, one of the guests states “This is the first party I’ve ever been to where they put out the BAD wine FIRST, and save the GOOD stuff fo the end…”
I’m sure that there is a deep theological meaning to the guest’s remark as well, but it’s structured like a punchline.