Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for February 22, 2019


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    DanFlak  8 months ago

    I did probably one of the most bravest things a man can do outside of combat: went bra shopping with my wife for a bra for my mother-in-law. Any man who has been married knows of the hours spent waiting for his spouse to get out of the ladies’ room. Has any man ever seen a purse do anything interesting? Yet we are constantly admonished with the three magic words in a marital relationship “watch my purse.”

    Bra shopping exceeds all that.

    The venue for this exclusion was our local Kohl’s: a 900,000 square foot warehouse of clothing; 800,000 of which is devoted to women’s clothing and 400,000 to bras. The square footage of the women’s shoe department has yet to be determined. NASA plans on launching a probe in 2020.

    For men, the equivalent garment is the jock strap. There’s one basic design and maybe several brands. There’s only so much variance in the anatomy and convergent engineering dictates an elegant solution.

    I can appreciate that for women there is a variance in size. Women’s breasts are measured like batteries: AAA to D with sizes going up with the letters. What gets me is the number of different kinds of bras. There are more kinds of bras than there are species of insects in the Amazon rain forest. Are women’s breasts so complex that one or even a handful of designs can’t handle them?

    Then there is the price. I think it works out to several hundred dollars an once. That’s a lot of money for spandex.

    I guess there are some things man was not meant to know.

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    V45mikky  8 months ago

    Thas sounds like a good pick up line , “I want to be your bra”

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  3. Marvin
    Marvin Premium Member 8 months ago

    Aunty, have you tried Lane Bryant’s Cacique Intimates department?

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  4. Teto 85 untitled 1
    Teto85 Premium Member 8 months ago

    A few years ago my wife and daughters found a bra fitter in a local store. According to them she helped find several bras from different manufacturers that do just what Auntie says, supportive, lifts them up and makes them feel good. In a very short time they replaced a lot of their bras for those recommended. All I know is that the Mrs and the girls say life is better and happy wife means happy life.

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  5. The stinker
    cuzinron47  8 months ago

    The accounts I’ve heard from women, bras are really sophisticated torture devices.

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  6. Odin
    Holden Awn  8 months ago

    And exits the scene when you need private moments with another friend.

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    nufalready  8 months ago

    A friend is like a good bra, always squeezing the Charmin.

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  8. Toughcat
    bakana  8 months ago

    She forgot : Lasts longer when properly cared for.

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