Not going to get very far having THAT sign outside your establishment. Nevertheless, noticed lately how many ads there are for stuff you neither want nor need, but you MUST have? I always go into this season of “be jolly” with a great deal of fear and trepidation – and I’ve always proved to be right.
Here’s the only gift giving guide you’ll ever need.
Ages 1 to 5? Give Mom cash to get them what they need, and give the kid a BIG Christmas card. The super fancy ones with space for a dozen people to sign. Little kids never get mail and it’ll be the highlight of their year.
5 to 10 get a GI Joe or a Barbie. Doesn’t matter if the kid likes it or not, they are highly tradable and are school yard cash.
10 to 20 get cash. You are old and have no idea what they want. Just let them get it themselves.
Over 21 gets a bottle of booze. Even if they don’t drink, they can regift it for New Years.
There comes a time when there is nothing more you really want or need. The priority becomes getting rid of thing you haven’t used in years because you just have to much stuff.
Wiley has put his thumb on the very reason I do not like this part of the holiday season. If we could remove the rampant commercialization, I’d like it a lot more. Then there’s the fact that I’m male and, by definition, can and never will buy the right things (save a year’s supply of lip balm in a stocking) regardless of the time effort and care I may use, unless I’m simply the one standing at the credit card reader running my card as instructed. Stress, time, money and effort expended to only foster more stress, embarrassment and disillusion. Seems like peace, family and good food should be enough.
Christmas has become a secular and religious holiday. Celebrate one or the other or both or neither or something else entirely. Whatever you choose: I hope you are happy.
rmremail 6 months ago
18 more days to help put the neighborhood shop into the black.
einarbt 6 months ago
Almost there.
Imagine 6 months ago
Nah.
keenanthelibrarian 6 months ago
Not going to get very far having THAT sign outside your establishment. Nevertheless, noticed lately how many ads there are for stuff you neither want nor need, but you MUST have? I always go into this season of “be jolly” with a great deal of fear and trepidation – and I’ve always proved to be right.
Salinasong 6 months ago
Deck the halls with boughs of holly
While the wintry weather freezes
’Tis the season to be “mall-y”
Buying gifts we hope will please us
But before we start our list
And the shopping frenzy seize us
Stop first, to remember this
And say, “Happy Birthday, Jesus”
Differentname 6 months ago
Here’s the only gift giving guide you’ll ever need.
Ages 1 to 5? Give Mom cash to get them what they need, and give the kid a BIG Christmas card. The super fancy ones with space for a dozen people to sign. Little kids never get mail and it’ll be the highlight of their year.
5 to 10 get a GI Joe or a Barbie. Doesn’t matter if the kid likes it or not, they are highly tradable and are school yard cash.
10 to 20 get cash. You are old and have no idea what they want. Just let them get it themselves.
Over 21 gets a bottle of booze. Even if they don’t drink, they can regift it for New Years.
PraiseofFolly 6 months ago
Ye Old Shopping Mall’s got me. The stores chew me up and spit me out.
LawrenceS 6 months ago
Unless you’re Jewish. Then it starts tomorrow. And you’ve got a week of being guilted… And the entire next year to be reminded of poor gift choices.
phritzg Premium Member 6 months ago
A sign showing a dollar amount is inside that store. It says “You must spend at least this much to eliminate your guilt”.
Denver Reader Premium Member 6 months ago
The after guilt is worse.
KFischer1 6 months ago
There comes a time when there is nothing more you really want or need. The priority becomes getting rid of thing you haven’t used in years because you just have to much stuff.
bbenoit 6 months ago
Wiley has put his thumb on the very reason I do not like this part of the holiday season. If we could remove the rampant commercialization, I’d like it a lot more. Then there’s the fact that I’m male and, by definition, can and never will buy the right things (save a year’s supply of lip balm in a stocking) regardless of the time effort and care I may use, unless I’m simply the one standing at the credit card reader running my card as instructed. Stress, time, money and effort expended to only foster more stress, embarrassment and disillusion. Seems like peace, family and good food should be enough.
DaBump Premium Member 6 months ago
NOOOOoooooo! Time goes by too swiftly when you get older.
Count Olaf Premium Member 6 months ago
19 More Days Until the Gift You Ordered Online Will Be Delivered.
sandpiper 6 months ago
I know. I KNOW. I’ll get there tomorrow
dflak 6 months ago
Christmas has become a secular and religious holiday. Celebrate one or the other or both or neither or something else entirely. Whatever you choose: I hope you are happy.
Daltongang Premium Member 6 months ago
Here comes VISA Card,
here comes VISA Card,
right down Charge Card Lane
VISA and MASTERCARD and all the others providing a financial drain
Cash Registers are ringing, Stores are singing, all is merry and bright
So hang your stockings and say your prayers, ’cause the bill comes due in a fortnight.
ladykat 6 months ago
I have most of my shopping done.
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] 6 months ago
Bake noodle kugel. Half will love it, the other half won’t know what it is
mindjob 6 months ago
If you run out of gift ideas, there are always those fruitcakes available. Not even looters want those
mistercatworks 6 months ago
There some things I mind about being retired, old and single but Christmas is NOT one of them.
Mike Baldwin creator 6 months ago
Bingo.
monya_43 6 months ago
I bought me a new roof for my house for Christmas. Love it! Boy was I extraordinarily extravagant. ;-D
NatureBatsLast 6 months ago
Time to take a Holiday from Xmas instead.
scaeva Premium Member 6 months ago
Ebenezer SCROOGE!!!
Amanda El-Dweek creator 6 months ago
I’d better get crackin’.
[Unnamed Reader - fe9964] 6 months ago
I thought Amazon had put malls out of business…