Tom Toles for March 30, 2018

There’s a better placement of that stick.

AN ELUSIVE CARROT – {rhyme}

His carrot will never be reached,

‘cause soon he’ll get impeached

for the too-many laws he has breached.

For this we’ve long beseeched.

May Trump like a whale be beached.

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Based on a comment by one Will Culver:

SINKING SHIP SEEKS RATS:

• Are you a lawyer who’s down on his or her luck?

• Would you like your choice of hundreds of crimes to defend?

• Can you write fiction “on the fly”?

• Do you have Fox pundit experience?

• Have you ever played a lawyer on TV?

• Have you ever BEEN on TV?

• Are you fluent in Russian?

• Are you loyal to Mother Russia?

• Do you have experience laundering money and/or intimidating witnesses?

• Can you sensitively counsel and indulge an unstable and obviously guilty client?

• Do you enjoy dining on Big Macs, Col. Sanders chicken, and crow?

• Must be able to wait for retainer/payment.

• Familiarity with the undersides of buses a plus.

THEN LOOK NO FURTHER: White House lawyer is the job for you!

{Off the cartoon’s topic:}

THREE STRIKES!! SO WHY AIN’T HE OUT?? – {rhyme}

These adjectives apply

to the Trumpian guy:

ONE: he’s Mendacious.

TWO: he’s Salacious.

and THREE: he’s too Gracious

to Vlad the Bad,

by whom Trump’s been had.

THREE the STRIKES!! So WHY ain’t he OUT??

STILL Trump’s at bat?? STILL he has clout??

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Exchange that carrot for a dollar bill and watch him run.

With any luck he’ll follow that carrot right off a cliff!

My question is, do we the people want the presidency to sink to this level or is Trump just a political outlier that is a product of not having a common vision of America future.

@kevinsheridan…I think you mean trump is the product of an UNedcated population. Remember 40%+ of the regressives think higher education is bad for America and trump “loves the uneducated because they’re so loyal.”

trump is the product of treason, the misuse of power and magical thinking.

A carrot?! Seriously?! It would have to be a cheeseburger!

Vicious liar Trump would probably rather push the red button than leave office voluntarily.

If Trump gets into the kind of trouble that requires jail time, I’m quite sure that Mike Pence, who will become President if Trump goes down, will pardon his buddy.

I haven’t seen him go after something like that since he burst in on teen beauty pageant contestants changing.

I wanna get to hit him with a big stick. It’s just to motivate him. Honest..please… please.

The accepting of a pardon – any kind of pardon – is a ‘tacit admission’ of guilt, and a Presidential pardon is no different! Once you’ve been offered AND HAVE ACCEPTED that pardon, you’ve admitted your guilt! You’re free – but you’re guilty of the crime for which you were pardoned – the pardon ONLY negates any sentence handed down or that would be handed down on you, that’s all. (though I believe that Joe Arpaio STILL doesn’t understand that.)

If I were Donnie, I wouldn’t trust Pence to do the job, either! Mike is a Christian ideologue and, as such, supposedly against EVERYTHING Donnie stands for! There is a very real possibility that, once out from beneath Donnie’s ‘thumb’ he’d “grow a pair” and refuse to grant Donnie any relief. That is not at all certain, however! The reaction of “Family Values” christians in Congress to reports of Donald John Trump’s picadillos leaves Mike’s response To Donnie “up in the Air”, so to speak – we ALL know what happened to Jerry, don’t we?

Someone should write him a note: “DO NOT PARDON YOURSELF!” <wink, wink! hehe!>

I love that over time Toles’ depictions of this colossal ass become more and more like some kind of semi-sentient, nameless, glistening internal organ clad in a cheap suit. Just beautifully, savagely evil. Really well done.

Happy Easter-eve.

{Off the cartoon’s topic:}

GONE IS AMERICA-AS-WE-KNOW-IT – {limerick and coda}

Gone is America-as-we-know-it.

Factors which overthrow it:

√ Oligarchy entrenches

while √ Trump monkey-wrenches

with policies which yuugely blow it.

… Coda:

Plutocrats prosper while Trump undermines

our hopes in Progressives’ better designs.

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America we hardly knew ye!