Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 10, 2018

It’s a cross between Kudzu, Devil’s Snare, and the Red Weed.

Because dead men tell no tales!

Only because they can’t speak now.

This very thing has happened to my yard – poison ivy from the yard next door. I’m going to spray it with a mixture of vinegar and water. I am sure it will take over completely if I don’t do anything about it.

Audrey 2? Is that you?

No flies on them – just wait a week or so.

Not all plants are vegans.

The neighbor is feeding the weed.

Where can I get one?

What’s that smell?

My neighbor grew a trumpet vine on her fence. It actually grew under my patio and came out 20 feet away. Then she grew mint. Invasive was her thing. The new neighbor killed all of it.

Do squirrels like it?

Hmmm, first Wiley bears, now Wiley invasive plants?

Doctor Quatermass, call your office. and you might want to bring that other Doctor with you.

I haven’t heard from the neighbor. He must be doing vine.

Feeed me Seymour!!

Somewhere in here there’s an analogy for Canadians.

Troy finally got his wish…to be at peace with nature. RIP

Piss on it. No – wait, that’s for sting ray hits.

Strike by night! Then they are weakest. They need sunlight to photosynthesize their venom.

The previous owner of my townhouse planted a lot of things in the yard that are considered noxious weeds in various places. Bur cucumber that sprouts at the base of the deck, climbs up through the deck, and winds around the patio furniture if left unchecked. Roving bellflower (Campanula rapunculoides) which is trying to take over the whole yard. Some kind of nightshade that’s a noxious weed from the west coast.

I figure it was her way of giving the finger to the condo board. She was a cantankerous old bat, by all accounts.

Triffids.

stay away from bamboo—it’s almost impossible to get rid of, once it takes. I figure our home will be reclaimed by the bamboo jungle when we are gone.

LOL, I’m the one covered in the neighbors creeping ivy monster. I do battle with it every year.

I spent my childhood getting leapin’ cases of poison ivy in New Jersey. Finally got somewhat immune to it by a certain age. Then moved to Oregon, and got a leapin’ case of poison oak.

Growing up in the deep south, I’d always heard that kudzu was originally introduced as a measure of erosion control and as cattle and sheep fodder. It succeeds admirably as the former, aside from swallowing up everything in its path up to and including entire small towns. However, never mind cattle and sheep, not even the goats will eat it.

Stephen King’s back yard?!