Tom Toles for February 13, 2018

Jerkwad national embarrassment.

Pence is loyal American who is willing do as much he can for his nation— with the exception of touching another man’s junk.

High on a ski slope in Korea was found the frozen and rotten carcass of Mike Pence. No one ever explained what he was seeking at that altitude.

BYPASSING PENCE – {limerick}

We too should bypass Pence

by ignoring his presence, – hence

bringing about

the loss of his clout,

so that Pence is a has-been, past tense.

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Unfortunately, he only showed the world that Trump isn’t the only ninny from the White House.

{Off the cartoon’s topic:}

TRUMPISM’S ILL-GOTTEN SCHEMES – {1.40 limericks}

It doesn’t take that much clairvoyance

to see he’s not merely annoyance

but the personification

of devastation

of world and nation, -

- through concatenation

of ill-gotten schemes’ deployance.

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Holy Mike eclipsed by and atheist female! Oh, the humanity!

{Off the cartoon’s topic:}

STIFLE THE NRA – {1.80 limericks and a coda}

Please, won’t someone please stifle

th’ ‘sociation National Rifle?

They never pause

in expanding their cause

of ruining the laws

with harmful flaws.

Against our well-being they trifle

in many ways,

making miserable our days.

… Coda:

Gun-makers’ profits they seek,

while calamitous havoc they wreak.

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He is such a forceful zzzzz, what was I saying? Oh yeah ..forceful personality.

A Pencesicle.

The Mrs is a Scot and refers to this “man” as “half-pence.”

Trying desperately to find something good to say about our VP, I came up with “He has nice hair, and it seems to be all his.”

Republicans are nothing but embarrassing.

Pence wears a chastity belt. Hence thee chronically constipated expression on his holy mug.

Pence was picked to be Trump’s running mate by Manafort, i.e. Putin. Even though Donald had been a draft dodger, even equated serving in Viet Nam to bedding starlets because he could catch an STD. Having business dealings with known US adversaries. He could fake being true to the flag…. hug a flag, talk about contributions you might make to Veterans organizations. But the Bible was a challenge…. http://www.newsweek.com/mike-pence-was-handpicked-paul-manafort-696412

It was a stroke of genius to secure the white, christian, evangelical vote and it worked.

Republicans say it is anti-Trump to show Koreans clapping and Pence sitting on his hands. It looks like the Koreans didn’t need the great negotiator to come together after all. The GOP has nothing but sour grapes because the Koreans don’t need them, and the rich won’t get a tax cut out of this.

Pence skipped the skating events because he doesn’t like to see Mexicans on the ice he rather see “I.C.E.” on Mexicans!

Please exchange him for one of those little Korean stuffed animals that are handed out on the podium.