Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 27, 2016

I hope Henry has figured out why he’s sleeping alone tonight..Happy Easter(Stephan will celebrate on May 1.)

Antisocial media.

Imagine the kids Henry & Ellen would have together.

Henry was not Ellie’s type.

Looks like Arial but she should have used Ellie Font.

Ellie the Easter Elephant

Your first problem, Elly, is that you’re dating a hippo. Aren’t there any elephants for you to date? That’s a bigger issue than social media.

Elly was hoping for some facetime from Henry.

My pet peeve is TVs in restaurants. The eye is naturally drawn to motion, and having six monitors mounted around the room is a sure way not to pay attention to the person you’re with. I catch myself looking at one or the other, when I really would rather look at my date. I don’t include sports bars in this diatribe. They serve a different purpose.

Compare today’s Rudy Park.

Passover this year begins this year on Friday evening April 22, civil calendar. The reason for the gap this year are due to the individual attributes of the Gregorian and Jewish calendars.

what a love story. brings a tear to my eye.

The beautiful couple ask, “Why are all those Southern Baptists staring at us.”

That’s great. Reminds me of one day when I was riding Metro and I noticed this very good-looking young couple in the seats across from mine. Both were heavily engrossed with their smartphones. As I watched, I saw the guy chuckle to himself, obviously from reading something funny. Afterwards he he quickly typed something and hit send. Less than 5 seconds later the girl giggled, again obviously from something she had just read. Me I just wanted to go over and slap the stupid out of them but figure to be effective I would have to hit them so much I would break my hand.

and Ellie elephant died an old maid.

I see people like that and I think, “Is that device your servant or your master?”

Glad I’m single.

xxx

Social media on mobile platforms, the Drug of Choice for way too many Americans (true also in some other places, too, but I’ll focus on my own lot). Henry wasn’t worth Elly’s time anyway, as he soon found out. And she never forgot, either. Unfortunately, her vow left her without much dating for a very long time….

What about Instagram?! :(

Wow. For the first time elly didn’t kill someone