The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for February 09, 2016
February 08, 2016
February 10, 2016
Transcript:
At the Kraft singles bar
Left cheese: Hi, I'm Colby. I think I'm kinda fondue you.
Middle cheese: So cheesy.
Right cheese: I'm Jack. You and I would look gouda together.
Really, she shouldn’t talk….And I don’t mean just because she’s a slice of cheese… heck, this is a cartoon.
I mean because she’s kind of a phony herself….pasteurised cheese “product”…She’s pale, and thin….. calls herself Swiss, when we all know she’s American.
She’ll string these guys along, letting them pay her whey…But after they Cheshire all night, she cuts out and goes home alone to her cottage. Cheese!What a bunch of bologna… that’s the real meat of it.
BTW… I wish they wouldn’t call that sticky yellow processed junk “American” cheese….
Kraft Singles aren’t even allowed to be labeled cheese at all…and to me, they’re pretty awful.
But to be fair, it’s not because they’re not at least mostly made from real milk and cheese…. the problem is that it’s thinned out with water and oils…ground up, blended and cooked.
There are worse ones out there…. generic brands of “slices” with almost no milk, made mostly from vegetable oil and whey.I really hate seeing young mothers buying that stuff for their kids.
Kraft does make real cheese, as well… not the best, but at least it’s natural cheese, like sharp cheddar, and mozzarella. “Government cheese” to most people isn’t Kraft Singles, or any commercial product…it’s the several-pound blocks of unsliced yellow processed cheese, made from surplus milk….ie, milk bought from farmers as a price support measure…then handed out, in plain tag-board boxes, in food commodity programs for low income seniors and families.
It’s still given to disaster victims and school lunch programs, and maybe elsewhere.
It, too, is blended from several varieties of cheese, ground and cooked, but it’s cheesier and slightly better-tasting than most “singles.” (Though not good. )
It’s the same as what came on your cheeseburger before pre-wrapped singles were invented.
The Compté (who was, in fact, the Dauphin) called out to my Baby (‘Belle’) “Gotcha real Gouda” !“Madrona mia – Don’t turn on the Heat,she cried, "Just take it Legato. I’m feeling *Pourly.
“Hoyel cow, he replied “Don’t give me all that Pallone – don’t come the Prima Donna with me. Anyway, that dress gives you a Vasterbottenost”
She turned away, saying "I’m not here to Winnermer Legacy from someone with such a tiny Pecorino<$, so…Genne Lost*….Anyway, where’s Waldo?
Farside99 about 8 years ago
Definitely cheesy pickup lines.
linsonl about 8 years ago
Right, and I wonder if cows have anything to do with it.
Linux0s about 8 years ago
You’ll be bleu cheese once she turns you down.
Bilan about 8 years ago
They’re grating on her nerves.
Stew Bek Premium Member about 8 years ago
Our daughter calls Kraft slices government cheese (go figure).
Brass Orchid Premium Member about 8 years ago
Uh-oh… it’s the Pastis Patrol.I was never here.Nobody saw me.
Ubintold about 8 years ago
What a friend we have in cheeses.
jreckard about 8 years ago
A bunch of singles looking to make a paircheesi.
boff0 about 8 years ago
You want a slice of me???
boff0 about 8 years ago
You want a slice of me???
SusanSunshine Premium Member about 8 years ago
Really, she shouldn’t talk….And I don’t mean just because she’s a slice of cheese… heck, this is a cartoon.
I mean because she’s kind of a phony herself….pasteurised cheese “product”…She’s pale, and thin….. calls herself Swiss, when we all know she’s American.
She’ll string these guys along, letting them pay her whey…But after they Cheshire all night, she cuts out and goes home alone to her cottage. Cheese!What a bunch of bologna… that’s the real meat of it.
Melki Premium Member about 8 years ago
With pick-up lines like that, it’s easy to see why the cheese stands alone.
SusanSunshine Premium Member about 8 years ago
BTW… I wish they wouldn’t call that sticky yellow processed junk “American” cheese….
Kraft Singles aren’t even allowed to be labeled cheese at all…and to me, they’re pretty awful.
But to be fair, it’s not because they’re not at least mostly made from real milk and cheese…. the problem is that it’s thinned out with water and oils…ground up, blended and cooked.
There are worse ones out there…. generic brands of “slices” with almost no milk, made mostly from vegetable oil and whey.I really hate seeing young mothers buying that stuff for their kids.
Kraft does make real cheese, as well… not the best, but at least it’s natural cheese, like sharp cheddar, and mozzarella. “Government cheese” to most people isn’t Kraft Singles, or any commercial product…it’s the several-pound blocks of unsliced yellow processed cheese, made from surplus milk….ie, milk bought from farmers as a price support measure…then handed out, in plain tag-board boxes, in food commodity programs for low income seniors and families.
It’s still given to disaster victims and school lunch programs, and maybe elsewhere.
It, too, is blended from several varieties of cheese, ground and cooked, but it’s cheesier and slightly better-tasting than most “singles.” (Though not good. )
It’s the same as what came on your cheeseburger before pre-wrapped singles were invented.
Plods with ...™ about 8 years ago
I’d say something about being real cheesy, but Susan explained it so well….
Pocosdad about 8 years ago
Whew! Who cut the cheese?
cdward about 8 years ago
No more pickup lines. Just let me brie.
Dani Rice about 8 years ago
Men who try to pick up women in bars are Muensters.
CYGNUS X1 about 8 years ago
Very krafty indeed. These pickup lines were aged for years in a cellar!
MeGoNow Premium Member about 8 years ago
She missed that imported brie she used to see. He had a whey about him. She just melted.
Peter Anderson about 8 years ago
I think the 2 guys actually make a great pair. My favorite cheese
Helen Ferrieux about 8 years ago
The Compté (who was, in fact, the Dauphin) called out to my Baby (‘Belle’) “Gotcha real Gouda” !“Madrona mia – Don’t turn on the Heat,she cried, "Just take it Legato. I’m feeling *Pourly.
“Hoyel cow, he replied “Don’t give me all that Pallone – don’t come the Prima Donna with me. Anyway, that dress gives you a Vasterbottenost”
She turned away, saying "I’m not here to Winnermer Legacy from someone with such a tiny Pecorino<$, so…Genne Lost*….Anyway, where’s Waldo?
CrzyDyeman about 8 years ago
with all of the CHEESE jokes, hope someone CUTS IT out.
wildfiregal about 8 years ago
try hitting on Monterey, Jack
Daeder about 8 years ago
They’re mac’n cheese!
zeexenon about 8 years ago
So bad, I had to laugh.