Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 31, 2014

Why am I (along with Goat) not surprised?

…this is gonna be painful.

My bet: the guy’s just got a beer gut.

Maybe Rat’s just got a very drunk tapeworm.

No research at all? Does that mean that if they didn’t research the link between tobacco and lung cancer, nobody would be dying from cigarettes?

Didn’t I see him on Oprah?

found Pastis’ inspiration

news.yahoo.com/blogs/oddnews/guy-s-wife-didn-t-pose-for-maternity-photos—so-he-posed-for—manternity—photos-163313058.html

The odds just went up that it’s actually gas.

I still miss Cubby the fly.

For three days now, I’ve been thinking Rat’s got himself a massive burrito baby. One blast of gas and this story arc is over.

Goat is usually more astute. Virtually no research shows that pregnant women can’t drink. All research shows pregnant women shouldn’t drink a lot. There’s a big difference, and a lot of over-reaction, as is the case pretty much any time the media gets hold of research.

Okay, so now it is settled; Rat is a guy (as most of us have thought all along—I don’t know of anyone suggesting Rat was female prior to this arc). So, either he is not really pregnant (instead, bloated; beery; gassy—whatever), or this is some pseudo-scientific wonder conjured up in Cartoon-Boy’s sick fantasies, perhaps beer-inspired….

According to my M-i-L, when she was growing up in Nottingham (UK), the doctors actually prescribed (suggested) pregnant women drink Guinness.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/3266819.stm

WHERE’S LIBBY WHEN YOU NEED HER?

Way to go Rat, you’re already having your unborn child, become an alcoholic

it’s not going to be a pretty picture, stay clear!

why do pregnant women shouldn’t eat soft cheeses, shellfish, and peanuts?

Oh, Stephan…………………….why?

And let’s not forget

This is so wrong in so many ways.

Cut this STUPID crap.

This is wrong on soooo many levels. Rat is very honey boo booish.

Any day now, something is going to come out of him, and I already have a name for it: Rat Junior.

So Rat is NOT a girl?! I’m SO confused!

We’re all familiar with cartoon physics. Now, we’re getting a lesson in cartoon biology.

I’m assuming a C-section.int main(void){stdout(“hello world”);return 0;}

Somehow, I am relieved. I have always thought rat was male, but was questioning myself this week. So glad to know that I am right.

Ok, let’s forget movies and go to reality.

Remember this person? Their name s Thomas Beatie. Their name was Tracy Lehuanani LaGondino, a one time Miss Teen Hawaii pagent finalist. In 2002 she got a sex change but retained the plumbing to be able to get pregnant and give birth (yeah, I know, the obvious result of pregnancy is giving birth, unless there’s an abortion or miscarriage). In 2007 they made headlines as the “Pregnant Man.”

I don’t really want to know how this will end.

Oh god…