Pickles by Brian Crane for September 03, 2013

Duuuh, yup, yup, yup…

I guess we know which one is the smarter one.

I’d rather be fat, dumb and happy than be…..wait a minute… I am !

Well yes, and the fact I don’t turn my hearing aid on most of the time doesn’t hurt ether.

That’s why I drink beer all the time.

I have often wished I was less intelligent……..must be bliss.

Earl: You bet your sweet bippy!

I’ve been told that. An acquaintance once said to me, “Your problem is, you think too much. I hardly think at all.” Yep—I knew that!

What bothers me in newsreaders is “nuke-you-lar.” Look at the word, people: nu-clear. How hard is that?

Or people who put an “r” in “Washington” or all the idiots on either side of us who can’t pronounce “Oregon” right. It’s “Ory-gun”. And don’t get me started on “Willamette”…

I’ll bet it’s not Willa-met is it?

Any newsperson that uses words in the wrong sense should be hung … er, I mean hanged. They shouldn’t be allowed to flaunt correct usage, I mean, flout. They should be put in a gummy sack and thrown into … I mean, gunny sack.

Which is worse, you talk too much, or you think too much? “Those who know do not speak, Those who speak do not know”.

Two useful items, but hardly interchangeable…

You deserved that, Earl….

Here in Austin, TX, there’s a small town on the south edge named Manchaca. It’s pronounced “Man Shack”. Go figure.

A lot of millionaires in this world never went past 6th grade…

An overused word in the news now is “iconic”. Too many things are described with it.

“No dear, it’s because I’m married to you!”

Your Honor – the corroborating evidence was provided by a witness who is collaborating with the opposition. This impudent perjury is a prejudicial, and precludes the possibility of impartiality by occluding the matter before this court. In plain English, he lied through his teeth to confuse the court!

At least he didn’t say depity, libary, irregardless . . .

That was a hanging change-up, and he don’t have any other pitch!

Could be… Could be.

LOL xxx

As I say to a waiter; ’bring a bottle of Warches..War-chest,,Woosster…Oh, hell..just bring a bottle of Lea and Perrins !!

Oh, Snap

…has anyone else noticed how Opal resembles Calvin’s teacher Mrs. Wormwood?…I wonder if they’re related…

Ooh! Ooh! I remember Sequim (“Squim”) — my Dad almost got a speeding ticket there in the ’50’s. He didn’t realize he’d passed through a town (I believe it’s bigger now). The friendly sheriff let him off with a warning.

It all balances out.

The world is filled with people telling others to become what they can’t beand by people convinced they can’t improve even though they can.You and I have the problem that we are approaching perfection asymptotically.

try some NW Louisiana pronounciations:NatchitochesBossierDoyline

NackotishBo szhurDoy leen

I live in Japan and the local big supermarket ( which is Seiyu owned by Walmart) has recorded instructions (playing between music over and over) and they say “smoking is only in disseminated areas” – clearly meant to be “smoking is only designated areas”- so annoying.