Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for February 02, 2013

How to help a drowning lawyer? Throw him a rock to hold on to!

When one bloodsucker meets another…

One sucks blood and the other one sucks moneyout of a person.

At least vampires sleep during the day.

Think you can get me her number? I’d love to bring her home to meet my parents

She shows up on the cheezburger site http://failblog.cheezburger.com/ugliesttattoos

And they both wind up as politicians of course. Contributing nothing productive but only sucking up life and resources.

Lawyers occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

- Winston Churchill

One’s a bloodsucker and the other one’s a vampire

ya gotta learn how to tell that joke.

Dont yall know where Vampires come from? They are all dead lawyers (well undead lawyers for the nitpickers)…Anyway, Once a bloodsucker, always a bloodsucker.

A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” He answered, “No.”The next question, intended for applicants who had answered, “Yes,” was “Why?” The lawyer answered it, “Never got caught.”

It should have been a banker

You’ve all heard of the “All Day Sucker” well this is an “All Day Laugh”

Variation: One is an evil, bloodsucking monster, and the other can turn itself into a bat.

What do you call a lawyer burried up to his neck in the sand?Not enough sand.

One day, a man is walking along the beach and comes across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubs it and, much to his surprise, a genie actually appears. “For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes,” says the genie.The man is ecstatic. “But there’s a catch,” the genie continues. “What catch?” asks the man, eyeing the genie suspiciously. The genie replies, “For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive DOUBLE what you ask for.” “Hey, I can live with that! No problem!” replies the elated man.“What is your first wish?” asks the genie. “Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!” POOF! A brand-new Ferrari Testarossa appears in front of the man. “Now, every lawyer in the world has been given TWO Ferraris,” says the genie. “What is your next wish?” “I could really use a million dollars,” replies the man, and POOF! Ten thousand $100 bills appears at his feet. “Now every lawyer in the world is TWO million dollars richer,” the genie reminds the man. “Well, that’s OK, as long as I’ve got MY million,” replies the man.“And what is your final wish?” asks the genie. The man thinks long and hard, and finally says, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney.”

One is an evil, disgusting, bloodsucking creature. The other is a vampire.

this storyline is kinda neat..vampires are in y’all know…who has seen the Twilight movies and The Vampire Diaries on The CW and True Blood on HBO?

One is an evil,heartless monster. The other is a vampire.