Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 14, 2007

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling We at Kellogg's have pledged that we will no longer market cereals with poor nutritional value to children. We now proudly unveil our new marketing campaigns for those cereals, with mascots we are CERTAIN will not appeal to ANY kids... APPLE JACKS: MARTIN AMIS Martin: Ah, the Proustian pleasure of a bowl of Apple Jacks. Christopher: Martin Amis, your recent book review managed to achieve both banality and moral hypocrisy. Martin: Christopher Hitchens, if the truth is banal, then I stand unrepentantly guilty. And as to moral hypocrisy, allow me to fetch YOUR 2004 review of the same author! Martin: You ate my Apple Jacks! Christopher: Once again, you confuse the utterance of the obvious with insightful revelation. Kellogg's Free "Time's Arrow Inside Apple Jacks FROOT LOOPS: KLAUS KINSKI Kellogg's Froot Loops Klaus Sez "Gut!" Klaus: Alles ist verloren. Klaus: Wir mussen die loops von froot jetzt essen. COCOA KRISPIES: IMMANUEL KANT Consequentialists Convention Cocoa Krispies Immanuel: Hi, can I have some Cocoa Krispies? Man: Sure, here ya go...wait...you're Immanuel Kant! Man: Silly deontologist! Cocoa Krispies are for consequentialists! Immanuel: I hold you morally responsible! Kellogg's BETCHA "KANT" HAVE JUST ONE BOWL Cocoa Krispies