Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 07, 2007

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling The Top Secret Files of Dick Cheney 60 Miles Beneath Death Valley Aide: Vice President Cheney! The law says we must give archivists information on our classified data! Dick Cheney: Foolish surface dwellers! SNAP Dick Cheney: No one will ever know about my secret files! Aide #2: Time for the energy policy meeting, sir! Dick Cheney: I know that, moron! Have a buckshot brunch! BAM Aide #2: My face! Dick Cheney: Note to file: Need more aides! Dick Cheney: Ha! They think that if they saw who advised me on energy policy, they'd get names like Ken Lay! Demon: Heh...heh... Dick Cheney: Well, I'm off... Dick Cheney: Has he agreed that the vice president isn't in the executive branch yet? Torturer: No! James Madison is pretty tough! INTERROGATION ROOM James: AUGGH! Dick Cheney: Get "innovative"! I didn't extradite him from the 18th century for his wife's snack cake recipes! Aide: They're asking more questions about secret files! Dick Cheney: I see action must be taken up top! Nanobots disassemble! Dick Cheney: Ah, it feels good to have my few remaining biological organs relax for a moment. But...back to work. Lord, I miss Scooter... Dick Cheney: Nanobots, reassemble as...TIM RUSSERT! Osama, write all this down and file it. Osama Bin Laden: Yes, sir!