Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 21, 2007
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Presents: News of the Times Juan Sanchez Admits He's An Illegal Immigrant Dishwasher and part-time landscaper JUAN SANCHEZ called a press conference to officially confirm that two years ago he ENTERED THE U.S. ILLEGALLY. Juan: ...but I have received the FORGIVENESS of my WIFE and GOD, and I consider the matter behind me. Now I'd like a driver's license, please. Senator DAVID VITTER (R-La.) wholeheartedly supports Sanchez. David: Once you've gotten forgiveness from your wife and God, there's not much the law can do. David: I only wish that the PROSTITUTES I solicit could get the forgiveness of my wife and God. Then they'd be spared the criminal justice system. The power elite are in a unique position to sympathize with Sanchez. Pundit Lou Dobbs Lou: Who among us hasn't wrested with the temptation of illegal immigration? Mr. Dobbs continued: "I myself illegally immigrated to Belgium in the early '90s. I just couldn't resist." Dobbs at Belgian apple farm, 1992. President Bush weighed in. George W. Bush: Even if Sanchez had been prosecuted, I'd commute the sentence. The hardship of being caught is punishment enough. NEXT -- Cocaine dealer Jason Raines gets forgiveness from his wife and God, stymieing police! Wife: I forgive you. God: I forgive you. Police: ARGH! Just too late!
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