Jeff Stahler for March 04, 2020

Thirty seconds with soap and water. 18 minutes? Not so much please. (30 seconds is a long time if you’re holding your breath or hurrying to a deadline, not so much if you’re having fun)

. . . ’cepting Alice . . .

Officer Obie will be watching you.

If you spend that much time washing your hands, there isn’t much time left to get into contact with anything contaminated.

OK. Now I have to dig out the DVD.

18:20 seconds later, REPEAT

With bad luck, this might be topical still to run again on the more appropriate Thanksgiving Day. [Thanks for playing ’Alice’s Restaurant’ on Thanksgiving Day for many years, local classical FM radio station.]

Or you could sing “Happy Birthday” and wash, repeat and rinse.

And to think that our administration is composed entirely of veterans of the Group W Bench. Makes you proud, doesn’t it? /s

The CDC recommends the “Happy Birthday Song” and don’t forget between the fingers and the wrists.

At 18:20 that maybe the short version of Alice’s Restaurant I thought it was 32 minutes long. " You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant … excepting Alice" A local radio station played Alice every Thanksgiving for 40 years a tradition in Nor-Cal

I live in New Mexico where consuming green chile is compulsory. There is a saying going around now "wash your hands like you just peeled a bag of green chile and have to remove your contacts. "

You can tell you’ve reached the OCD stage when your hands get sore from washing them so often.

For important inside information on Coronavirus:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c09m5f7Gnic

Just do the song part, that’s 25 secs.

Or, any Ramones song will do.

Bye bye, Miss American Pie.