The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for August 17, 2012

The crowd is smarter than Walter thought…

It’s the backstage passes you really have to worry about.

Walter and friends need to add a few pounds; they look much more like pickles than Gallagher targets. Still, better safe than splattered.

Floor seating would attract a kid

I had to look Gallagher up. I’m not surprised no one wants to see him. I wouldn’t, and I’m not a melon.

No kids allowed —you have to be over 21 to get smashed.

He can’t scalp in that crowd anyway — they’re all bald.

And maybe his efforts wouldn’t be so fruitless if he went to a seedier part of town.

Rind over matter.

I managed to catch his show recently (it was free for me) and watched a video of one of his old shows from about 1985. They were mostly the same jokes, only updated. The craziest difference was the reviews: all the political and social jokes that made him seem like an anti-Reagan liberal in 85 made the reviewer label him as an anti-Obama Tea-Partier today.

Walter decides to keep the tickets himself, go the show, and get smashed.

That show had him seeing red.

Good thing his puppy isn’t here with him or he’d truly be melon collie baby

Gallager. Man that goes back

The seedy side of life.

Cute, but would be really funny if Gallagher had been passing out the tickets!

I love Argyle Sweater because it brings out the punster in all of you. Thanks for the laughs this morning!

Wow… so many gags (or is that puns?) in one joke…

It is like selling tickets to a firing squad target practice.

Walter’s a real melon-head for buying those tickets in the first place.

I wander how many girls like Walter Melon

I thought that was gonna be an Eddie Money joke in front of the Paradise theater.

Homicidal!

Melons with glasses.That must be where I saw Blind Melon Chitlin’ playing at that club.

They know Gallagher would sledgehammer them all over the crowd.

I wasn’t going to get into it here… cos I really don’t want a political discussion, and cos I’m not sure Scott knows about Gallagher today….

But I have to point out, in response to a few comments…I’ve read some quotes from Gallagher’s “comeback” tours…To each his own, and if you find his stuff funny…. oh well….

But he’s racist, homophobic, nasty and mean-spirited …to the point of shocking me with the unfunny venom he seems to regard as humor.I don’t care what your political opinions are…the things he says are senseless and cruel.He unleashes his paranoid ranting on unsuspecting audience members…for instance, telling a young man in a backwards baseball cap he must be a “homo” cos he can’t tell his front from his back…

He also tells jokes so racist I can’t repeat them about the president, and about people of color in general.I have no use for that stuff.I have good friends on all sides of the political arena…and of various races and sexual persuasions…and one thing we all have in common is mutual respect.

A tad too arcane for me. Didn’t get it. Plus, it’s rather MELOnDRAMATIC…