Ain’t that the truth - men are pretty easy to understand. Sort of like mid-range calculators: they function very well for what they’re intended to do and don’t require much maintenance but they only do one thing at a time. Women are more like computers; hopelessly complicated, capable of multi-tasking, but only a trained professional understands them.
Most women do NOT want to take their husbands/other halves to the mall. They usually get themselves into trouble much like a 3 year old….
In truth, I would never have my husband take me shopping if he had the opportunity to play (golf, or some other sport); he gets so little time off work as it is. Besides I can drive and have two healthy legs to walk with!
Have to love the shadow though!
Women are easy to understand, and even easier to make happy. Men just never learn how to factor in hormone roulette or do the dodge. For example:
Woman: Honey, do these pants make my butt look big?
Man: Baby, those pants are old and out of style. Here, take my credit card and go treat yourself to a new pair of jeans and maybe something sexy from Victoria’s Secret. You can model it for me later.
(Woman leaves to go to mall, man goes and plays golf)
This is what we in the know call the win-win scenario ;)
I can take the mall. When I really wonder if she secretly hates me is when I get dragged into Wal-Mart. She then loses all sense of direction and goes in a winding route through the store with me trudging along for what seems ages. She’ll spend 10 minutes or so deciding on a shirt, only to put it back on the rack and continue the tour. That’s when I distract myself by looking into the zombiefied eyes of other men also going through this version of hell.
BTW, I’m curious…Is it a requirement that all Wal-Mart personnel using the the speaker system to screech into the microphone at exceptionally high decibel levels?
Lewreader, I’ve found malls like you describe (no strip bar though). The mall outside of Appleton, Wisconsin has a micro-brewery/sports pub just inside the main entrance. When I visited the mall with wife and daughter last year, I spent the whole visit at the bar (which we called the “Dad Zone”) while the femmes went shopping. Life is good…
I like to shop alone. I make a list, find what I need, go pay and I’m out of there. When the hubby comes along, he keeps stopping at anything and everything asking, “Do we need one of these?”
When a new mall opened ‘round here it had a Black & Decker Outlet store. We guys, strangers all, just looked at each other & grinned. “Finally, a toy store for us.”
Wiley’s practice of going back and forth between stories and one-shot panels exemplifies the concept of “non sequitur”, which is Latin for “it does not follow”. He’ll get back to the Mars story when he wants to.
Generally it alternates - a week of story, a week of one-shots - so this should be expected (at least I expected it) and back to the continuity next Monday …
EMET: Rooting for the Lions is as pointless as hoping for the weekend to never end: just because you want it to doesn’t mean it’s going to, in fact, it doesn’t matter, because neither will change.
@EMET. it’s a lion because i was born in early august, making me a “Leo” astrologically. it’s a photo i took of the stained glass panel my sister-in-law made for me for my last birthday. the previous one was a self protrait, and this will be replaced by something else when i get tired of looking at it online.
madKanga almost 15 years ago
And women do not do this? as in: Him: “But I don’t understand, what did I do wrong?” Her: “If you don’t know, I am not going to tell you!”
LordDogmore almost 15 years ago
Yea but whose working like a slave to PAY for it all?
dhubb almost 15 years ago
Can’t she go to the mall tomorrow?
lazygrazer almost 15 years ago
Whoa—if she doesn’t give a hoot about his golf game why must he accompany her to the mall??
~Probably something to do with satire I’ll bet.
ejcapulet almost 15 years ago
Ain’t that the truth - men are pretty easy to understand. Sort of like mid-range calculators: they function very well for what they’re intended to do and don’t require much maintenance but they only do one thing at a time. Women are more like computers; hopelessly complicated, capable of multi-tasking, but only a trained professional understands them.
madKanga almost 15 years ago
@ejcapulet - and not even they really have a clue!
gjsjr41 almost 15 years ago
ROFLMAO
Superfrog almost 15 years ago
Men have spent thousands of years making life so easy that we’re not necessary any more.
And why? To impress our girlfriends ,of course!
In a hundred years, we’ll be lucky if they keep us as pets.
Allison Nunn Premium Member almost 15 years ago
Most women do NOT want to take their husbands/other halves to the mall. They usually get themselves into trouble much like a 3 year old…. In truth, I would never have my husband take me shopping if he had the opportunity to play (golf, or some other sport); he gets so little time off work as it is. Besides I can drive and have two healthy legs to walk with! Have to love the shadow though!
halavana almost 15 years ago
Little does he know, they’re going to the mall to buy him a new pair of golf shoes…
GROG Premium Member almost 15 years ago
The phrase “I’d rather be Golfing” can be associated with so many activities. Working and going to the mall with the wife rank right up there.
GuntotingLiberal almost 15 years ago
Women are easy to understand, and even easier to make happy. Men just never learn how to factor in hormone roulette or do the dodge. For example:
Woman: Honey, do these pants make my butt look big? Man: Baby, those pants are old and out of style. Here, take my credit card and go treat yourself to a new pair of jeans and maybe something sexy from Victoria’s Secret. You can model it for me later. (Woman leaves to go to mall, man goes and plays golf)
This is what we in the know call the win-win scenario ;)
steverinoCT almost 15 years ago
The Difference Between Men And Women:
http://www.shinndig.com/men-women.htm
grinstoya almost 15 years ago
Women say they want us to be honest and truthful… lol… yeah right.
lewisbower almost 15 years ago
I think every mall should have a hardware store, a sports store, and a bar. If you really want to get the wives out fast, make it a strip bar
rhutch436 almost 15 years ago
I can take the mall. When I really wonder if she secretly hates me is when I get dragged into Wal-Mart. She then loses all sense of direction and goes in a winding route through the store with me trudging along for what seems ages. She’ll spend 10 minutes or so deciding on a shirt, only to put it back on the rack and continue the tour. That’s when I distract myself by looking into the zombiefied eyes of other men also going through this version of hell.
BTW, I’m curious…Is it a requirement that all Wal-Mart personnel using the the speaker system to screech into the microphone at exceptionally high decibel levels?
pearlandpeach almost 15 years ago
“We” shop at Home Depot/Lowes, B&N and Container Store….after that, he’s on his own….me too.
cleokaya almost 15 years ago
What? She needs help going to the mall? Why can’t he go golfing while she goes to the mall? Sheesh!
Nelly55 almost 15 years ago
easiest solution for me, we go to the outlet shopping center:
he goes where he wants, and I go where I want
we have our cells
we meet in 3 hours for lunch
p.s. neither of us like the mall, so that’s moot
yyyguy almost 15 years ago
A. Fortunately I get to golf whenever my knees and my work schedule let me (and the time of year - almost forgot to mention that)
puddleglum1066 almost 15 years ago
Lewreader, I’ve found malls like you describe (no strip bar though). The mall outside of Appleton, Wisconsin has a micro-brewery/sports pub just inside the main entrance. When I visited the mall with wife and daughter last year, I spent the whole visit at the bar (which we called the “Dad Zone”) while the femmes went shopping. Life is good…
carmy almost 15 years ago
I like to shop alone. I make a list, find what I need, go pay and I’m out of there. When the hubby comes along, he keeps stopping at anything and everything asking, “Do we need one of these?”
AddADadaAdDad almost 15 years ago
When a new mall opened ‘round here it had a Black & Decker Outlet store. We guys, strangers all, just looked at each other & grinned. “Finally, a toy store for us.”
Mikey8 almost 15 years ago
Maybe she’ll buy him new clubs.
ninmas almost 15 years ago
what about the mars story?
Sternvogel almost 15 years ago
ninmas said, 8 minutes ago
“what about the mars story?”
Wiley’s practice of going back and forth between stories and one-shot panels exemplifies the concept of “non sequitur”, which is Latin for “it does not follow”. He’ll get back to the Mars story when he wants to.
invisifan almost 15 years ago
Generally it alternates - a week of story, a week of one-shots - so this should be expected (at least I expected it) and back to the continuity next Monday …
johnnydoc5 almost 15 years ago
EMET: Rooting for the Lions is as pointless as hoping for the weekend to never end: just because you want it to doesn’t mean it’s going to, in fact, it doesn’t matter, because neither will change.
treered almost 15 years ago
love the comments, specially ejcap and baslim. i can’t help but wonder, what did Mad Off’s shadow look like?
yyyguy almost 15 years ago
@EMET. it’s a lion because i was born in early august, making me a “Leo” astrologically. it’s a photo i took of the stained glass panel my sister-in-law made for me for my last birthday. the previous one was a self protrait, and this will be replaced by something else when i get tired of looking at it online.
The Duke 1 almost 15 years ago
Well why don’t all you COMPUTER COMPLICATED women fix your own crap!!! You wouldn’t last 20 seconds without us guys!
OldPossum almost 15 years ago
Call me a strange women but i would MUCH rather be playing golf than shopping!
TAZFAN almost 15 years ago
This reminds of the MAD feature “The Shadow Knows” (or something like that) that used to show what people were really thinking through their shadows.
Sergio Aragones did those, I think.