Andy Capp by Reg Smythe for April 07, 2024

All I Want For Christmas Is A Little Perspective And Humility NOT MY STORY

I work in a hotel. We all know that guests are especially awful around the holiday season, but this year, they’ve THOROUGHLY driven me up the wall due to the storm.

Customer #1: “Due to the power outage, I didn’t get my hot breakfast! This is very disappointing and I demand compensation!”

Me: “Yeah, you know who else didn’t get their hot breakfast? EVERYONE IN TOWN, INCLUDING ME.”

Customer #2: “My brother made a reservation for the whole family, and my name is nowhere on it. Can you check me in anyway? And can we use his card on file to pay for it?”

Me: “…No.”

Customer #2: “You don’t have any flexibility? Even though it’s Christmas, and we’ve been driving for eleven hours?”

Me: “…Are you insane? No.”

Customer #3: “I see that the restaurant is closed due to a burst pipe. Is the bar open?”

Me: “I’m so sorry; I’m afraid not. I do have some alcohol in the gift shop, though, and you could have a seat by the fire in the lobby!”

Customer #3: “Ugh! We were looking for camaraderie! Talking to people in the bar! Celebrating the holiday! Getting drunk in public! But now, it’s a ghost town. This is not the joyous experience we wanted!”

Me: “I get it; this is all super disappointing. We’ve had a ton of cancellations, on account of the TERRIBLE STORM THAT HAS CLOSED MULTIPLE MOUNTAIN PASSES, and no one is happy about any of this. You think the restaurant manager is happy about the burst pipe? Because she’s not. Neither is the executive chef and, frankly, neither am I. So I hear what you’re saying, but also, your day is going a lot better than mine, so go back to your room.”

(CONTD)

Jack should close this thing down and open a wrestling ring

Better call in the riot squad, Jack! And that couple had better find another pub.

Sunday double featuring a triple fight cloud, has got to be a record!

He hit me on my widdle nose.

The place will quiet down soon, when they’re all unconconscious.

YEP, watch when Alan & the other officers come.

You won’t be long if you don’t belong.

Must be an Irish pub.

There is a pint in the air. Andy must use his quick football skills to make the save.

What a waste of good lager.

If the window of a British pub says “Ales and Wines,” are they going to serve only ales? Can you get a lager or Pilsner there?

The guy in the purple suit ended in a tie with Andy………..

Everybody was brawling and fighting, those fists weren’t fast as lightning.

They should rename the pub the Rumble Zone.

Nah, Tom. That first time was just your initiation. They’ll either let you stay and brawl inside or throw you out through the door from now on.

Wow, three fight clouds in one strip.

Jack, you’re better off running a coffee shop if you want people to drink quietly.

Andy is that the only reason you go to the pub to drink and fight